Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab

If you haven't ever experienced BPAL, now is a good time, because anything that sticks it to Paris Hilton is a Good Thing. From the New and Shiny page:

We’re going to call this the Bastille Update (thank you, Jeff!).

For a limited time, the following scent will be available on our Limited Edition page:

Polished party-girl sleaze. This is a shameless scent, devoid of caution, regret, or introspection. This perfume reeks of tabloid glamour, and has no substance whatsoever. Armoise, tuberose, white citrus, rose absolute, oakmoss, tiare, tuberose, vanilla, linden, and lemon tree blossom.

Although this scent originated with fine plants and the pure essences, the final result is a grotesque, eerily empty caricature of a debauched, narcissistic would-be debutante.

Jailhouse hooch. Distilled in toilets, this vintage is comprised of chow line droppings, including oranges, apples, ketchup, and sugar.

Is it cruel to commemorate someone’s jail sentence with a festive set of fragrances? Maybe. But it is far fouler to drive drunk, endanger the lives of others, and expect to get away with it because your family has cash.

It is our opinion that everyone should be held accountable for their actions. Period.

These scents will be live for as long as Paris Hilton stays in jail.

Money shouldn’t exempt you from basic human decency, and it certainly shouldn’t shelter you from justice.

(By the way… Candy Spelling, we love you!)

In addition to being a celebration of one irresponsible, horrid person’s comeuppance, these scents do go to a good cause… albeit, in BPAL’s crass, snotty fashion. A portion of each sale of Privilege and Pruno will be donated to Southern California women’s shelters.

- In the interests of privacy and at least a sliver of good taste, the specific shelters are staying under a veil of anonymity. We hope you understand.

Now, don't worry if these perfumes sound...odd smelling. Beth and the Labbies have never come up with something that is just downright NASTY on everyone. And while you're visiting the WEBSITE, take a look around at the 500+ other blends. My favorites are Dragon's Milk and Jester.

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