Y'know, if ever I, or anyone I care about, was ever attacked by a large predator, I would hope that the authorities would take whatever measures needed to contain the animal. Up to and including killing it.
And I would hope that everyone would understand that the animal was not acting out of maliciousness or cruelty, or a burning desire to make life horrible for some humans, but just doing what it was designed to do.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Not the only game in town
No, you can't take the Christ out of Christmas.
But you can take it out of Hannukah and Ramadan and Yule and all the OTHER holy-days of the Season, that deserve to exist without being bullied around by Christmas.
Oh, and the X in Xmas... comes from the first letter of the Greek work for Christ. Sorry, no persecution there.
But you can take it out of Hannukah and Ramadan and Yule and all the OTHER holy-days of the Season, that deserve to exist without being bullied around by Christmas.
Oh, and the X in Xmas... comes from the first letter of the Greek work for Christ. Sorry, no persecution there.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Coookiieeeessss
I came up with these while playing around making holiday cookies. Really buttery, with a maple chaser. Num.
1c butter
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup real maple syrup
3 cups flour
extra:
1/4 cup brown sugar
Cream together butter, sugar and syrup. Slowly mix in 3 cups flour until dough comes away from side of bowl. Shape into 1/2 inch balls, and press one side gently into brown sugar. Place cookies 1 inch apart, brown sugar up, on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 for 8-10 minutes, or until bottoms are golden brown. Keep questing fingers out of the kitchen until they've cooled, or they'll vanish.
1c butter
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup real maple syrup
3 cups flour
extra:
1/4 cup brown sugar
Cream together butter, sugar and syrup. Slowly mix in 3 cups flour until dough comes away from side of bowl. Shape into 1/2 inch balls, and press one side gently into brown sugar. Place cookies 1 inch apart, brown sugar up, on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 for 8-10 minutes, or until bottoms are golden brown. Keep questing fingers out of the kitchen until they've cooled, or they'll vanish.
Friday, December 07, 2007
The universe speaks in many languages, but only one voice...It speaks in the language of hope.
It speaks in the language of trust.
It speaks in the language of strength and the language of compassion.
It is the language of the heart and the language of the soul.
But always it is the same voice.
It is the voice of our ancestors speaking through us and the voice of our inheritors waiting to be born.
The small, still voice that says:
We are one. No matter the blood, no matter the skin, no matter the world, no matter the star. .. We are one. No matter the pain, no matter the darkness, no matter the loss, no matter the fear. .. We are one.
Here, gathered together in common cause, we begin to realize this singular truth and this singular rule that we must be kind to one another.
Because each voice enriches us and ennobles us and each voice lost diminishes us.
We are the voice of the universe, the soul of creation, the fire that will light our way to a better future.
We are one.
We are one.
Friday, November 09, 2007
We are D'mala
J.D. Barnes spoke in the city recently. Thank's Tai for recording it, so these words can be shared...
Let me tell you about some of the most important people in D'ni History.... There are a lot of important figures we need to remember... There was Pehpsi, whose spirit was a light no matter how dark the Cavern was... Moz'ie, JDrake, Dust'ei, Aquila, Rasmine. People we have lost. But have made our lives so much the richer. And there are those who are still here.... Eleri, Thend, DocOlanA, Marten, JWPlatt, SuperGram, Tweek, vid, Lynnuette, Whilyam.... Montgomery, Calam, Zardoz, Lial, Moiety Jean, D'lanor.... More than I can name or remember... And for every one of them, there are a dozen others that work hard, help each other and never receive an iota of thanks or recognition. These are just normal people who have come down here. Brian Fioca was a programmer from Alaska before he founded the Great Tree, for example. But these people are our history, this is our mythos. This is not the DRC's story. This is not Yeesha's story. This is not the story of the D'ni, for we are not D'ni. We are not even the new D'ni. Rather, we are our own people. We are not D'ni, the new, but D'mala, the returning. Isn't that what Yeesha was trying to get across? The virtue of returning.... If you are here, you are part of that history. Every word you say is part of it. Every conversation is another chapter.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Friday, November 02, 2007
Now *THAT* is a party!
You know the servers are screaming bloody murder when you're getting heavy lag in Relto.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Thoughts of the Ending of Relationships
(not personal, you can all stop freaking out.)
Firstly, it take two to tango. If a relationship ends, very very rarely is one person a candidate for sainthood, and the other Satan incarnate. Sympathy for the ending relationship should be extended to both sides. Nor should outsiders assume that the 'Dumpee' is the wronged party, and the 'Dumper' acting harshly or irrationally. Conversely, don't assume that Dumper is fleeing a horibble relationship, and Dumpee is an ogre.
There is no way for the timing and delivery on ending a relationship to be anything but sucky. Having seen prolonged endings, and sudden-seeming cutoffs, I couldn't say one is better than the other. Once someone decides the relationship isn't right for them, how long do they have to stick around? Is it better to get it over with, or keep going knowing in your heart it's not working? Is one deception, and the other harsh, or is one compassionate, and the other honest?
The decision for someone to stay in a relationship with you is not yours. You can work on the relationship, you can ask for counseling or marriage therapy... and you can manipulate, you can guilt trip, you can change in ways you think will hold on to them, but when it comes down to them deciding to leave, you don't get a choice. You can not like their choice all you want, but you can't force them to stay.
Firstly, it take two to tango. If a relationship ends, very very rarely is one person a candidate for sainthood, and the other Satan incarnate. Sympathy for the ending relationship should be extended to both sides. Nor should outsiders assume that the 'Dumpee' is the wronged party, and the 'Dumper' acting harshly or irrationally. Conversely, don't assume that Dumper is fleeing a horibble relationship, and Dumpee is an ogre.
There is no way for the timing and delivery on ending a relationship to be anything but sucky. Having seen prolonged endings, and sudden-seeming cutoffs, I couldn't say one is better than the other. Once someone decides the relationship isn't right for them, how long do they have to stick around? Is it better to get it over with, or keep going knowing in your heart it's not working? Is one deception, and the other harsh, or is one compassionate, and the other honest?
The decision for someone to stay in a relationship with you is not yours. You can work on the relationship, you can ask for counseling or marriage therapy... and you can manipulate, you can guilt trip, you can change in ways you think will hold on to them, but when it comes down to them deciding to leave, you don't get a choice. You can not like their choice all you want, but you can't force them to stay.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Rehersal: Sucking the Life out of Uru Live
We all know there is a Rehearsal Server for Uru Live. Said Rehearsal is for large crowds of people do final bug testing on the upcoming content for Live. No big secret, that's what test servers are for.
And, like most test servers, people participating are NDAd six was to Sunday. The first rule of Rehearsal Club, is you will not talk about Rehearsal Club.
Rehearsal was the first chance people had to glimpse Uru Live, so of course all the die hards who'd been clinging to Uru since the death of Prologue jumped at the chance. And they continue to recruit for beta testers for Rehersal.
So, what can we extrapolate from this information?
1) There is a place where Uru Live new content is available to a large portion of the player base, weeks in advance of release.
2) People on Rehearsal are not allowed to talk about the content they see, but they are expected to work through it.
This implies that a unnumbered segment of the player base is ACTIVELY PLAYING NEW CONTENT weeks in advance. We can guess that not only are they seeing new and shiny things, but that they are exploring, solving puzzles, and speculating on what they find, all in an enclosed, isolated space, and they *can't talk about it to the rest of the player base*
That means that when content hits Live, there's a large segment of the player base that is ALREADY DONE with the new content, and is already waiting for the next thing.
And, given the pre-live recruitment, we can infer that many of the Rehearsal population is the REALLY BIG FANS, who used to be publicly seen speculating and solving puzzles, and now are keeping their mouths shut.
No WONDER things are slow in Live! If the real sparks of the community are off Exploring on Rehearsal, and just twiddle their thumbs and be social in Live, their Explorer energy and enthusiasm is wasted on Live. Instead of OMG CHECK IT OUT all over the forums when content hits, people are ho-humming, in part because they've already BTDT.
And I'd be willing to bet money that there are people who spend more time in Rehearsal than they do in Live. I'd even be willing to be that there are people who never come into Live at all anymore.
How is that good for Live? The rationale is that GameTap gets their money and numbers either way, but what does it do for the dynamic of the cavern? When a portion of the community, likely some of the most active members, are restrained, restricted and in some cases not even around, how does that make things look to new people?
The solutions range from the extreme: Boot everyone off of Rehearsal, and only recruit from outside the fan base; to the complicated; Make people earn Rehearsal access through time in Live; to the theoretically possible: Make at least two Rehearsal teams, A and B, and alternate their access.
But really, something needs to change. Beta testing is a needed, vital step. But in this case, it really looks as if that step is coming at the expense of the final product.
And, like most test servers, people participating are NDAd six was to Sunday. The first rule of Rehearsal Club, is you will not talk about Rehearsal Club.
Rehearsal was the first chance people had to glimpse Uru Live, so of course all the die hards who'd been clinging to Uru since the death of Prologue jumped at the chance. And they continue to recruit for beta testers for Rehersal.
So, what can we extrapolate from this information?
1) There is a place where Uru Live new content is available to a large portion of the player base, weeks in advance of release.
2) People on Rehearsal are not allowed to talk about the content they see, but they are expected to work through it.
This implies that a unnumbered segment of the player base is ACTIVELY PLAYING NEW CONTENT weeks in advance. We can guess that not only are they seeing new and shiny things, but that they are exploring, solving puzzles, and speculating on what they find, all in an enclosed, isolated space, and they *can't talk about it to the rest of the player base*
That means that when content hits Live, there's a large segment of the player base that is ALREADY DONE with the new content, and is already waiting for the next thing.
And, given the pre-live recruitment, we can infer that many of the Rehearsal population is the REALLY BIG FANS, who used to be publicly seen speculating and solving puzzles, and now are keeping their mouths shut.
No WONDER things are slow in Live! If the real sparks of the community are off Exploring on Rehearsal, and just twiddle their thumbs and be social in Live, their Explorer energy and enthusiasm is wasted on Live. Instead of OMG CHECK IT OUT all over the forums when content hits, people are ho-humming, in part because they've already BTDT.
And I'd be willing to bet money that there are people who spend more time in Rehearsal than they do in Live. I'd even be willing to be that there are people who never come into Live at all anymore.
How is that good for Live? The rationale is that GameTap gets their money and numbers either way, but what does it do for the dynamic of the cavern? When a portion of the community, likely some of the most active members, are restrained, restricted and in some cases not even around, how does that make things look to new people?
The solutions range from the extreme: Boot everyone off of Rehearsal, and only recruit from outside the fan base; to the complicated; Make people earn Rehearsal access through time in Live; to the theoretically possible: Make at least two Rehearsal teams, A and B, and alternate their access.
But really, something needs to change. Beta testing is a needed, vital step. But in this case, it really looks as if that step is coming at the expense of the final product.
Monday, October 22, 2007
I'm rabble rousing, and by god the rabble need roused! So of course those that are horrified by the idea that Uru is worth working at are up in arms.
There's a portion of the people out there who see their only connection to Uru as the monthly fee they pay. And for that monthly fee, they get Stuff, and that's that.
Fine enough, until they start being the ones complaining about Uru's flaws. And yes, Uru has flaws. And we know some of those flaws are significantly tied in to paid staffing... and paid staffing is tied into GameTap seeing good numbers...
We all see the cycle. So those of us who (as I said while rousing) see Uru as symbiotic, and not parasitic, do things to bring in more people.
There's a portion of the people out there who see their only connection to Uru as the monthly fee they pay. And for that monthly fee, they get Stuff, and that's that.
Fine enough, until they start being the ones complaining about Uru's flaws. And yes, Uru has flaws. And we know some of those flaws are significantly tied in to paid staffing... and paid staffing is tied into GameTap seeing good numbers...
We all see the cycle. So those of us who (as I said while rousing) see Uru as symbiotic, and not parasitic, do things to bring in more people.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Aaaannnnd, go!
The forum I've been working my butt off for finally went live. This is an actual honest to god forum with about 500 members.
All of which I'm having to hand sort into usergroups because the forum mod for invite codes into usegroups refused to work. Gerrrr.
Numerous other projects, including a complete rearrangement of the house, are in the works. Decants to finish, presents to make, Uru stuff to pour over, etc.
The Featherheads are throwing seeds at me. Dorky birds.
All of which I'm having to hand sort into usergroups because the forum mod for invite codes into usegroups refused to work. Gerrrr.
Numerous other projects, including a complete rearrangement of the house, are in the works. Decants to finish, presents to make, Uru stuff to pour over, etc.
The Featherheads are throwing seeds at me. Dorky birds.
Monday, October 15, 2007
OMG TEH NAKED!!!
In yet another bit of evidence that people are REALLY STUPID when it comes to the unclothed human body, I present this:
That's right, folks. No more free sammitch for jumping bare into glacial melt water, because someone got offended at the sight of a nekkid tush. Probably the same person who obsessively watches war reports on Fox to see all the dead Iraqis, cause that's so much less offensive.
Single Complaint Likely Means No More Free Naked Lunch
by Darklady
GREENVILLE, MN -- At the Black Frog Restaurant, the customers know that
“Naked Lunch” refers to more than just the ground breaking and mind
bending William S. Burroughs novel of the same name.
At least it used to.
Alas for those who enjoy the food, fun, and atmosphere of the Black
Frog, it appears that one diner was left with a bad taste in his or her
mouth; bad enough that they complained to the legal authorities.
It doesn’t appear to have been the food that so offended the unknown
person as it was what some clients of the eatery went through in order
to receive it free of cost.
At issue is the restaurant’s famous, and now infamous, “Skinny Dip.”
While the sliced prime rib on a baguette is fairly traditional, the way
that hungry and budget conscious eaters were able to have it served for
free was not.
Docked in Moosehead Lake, the Black Frog Restaurant is perfectly
situated for those with a love of water. In the case of the Skinny Dip,
evening diners keen for its savory goodness but in search of a thrill
and a bargain were – until recently – welcome to peel of their clothing
and jump into the lake’s chill waters.
According to Turner, who found out about the single complaint when he
attempted to renew his liquor license, if he’s formally asked to stop
allowing his clients to have their bit of naked fun, then there won’t be
any more free Skinny Dips served in exchange.
While not the biggest seller on the menu, restaurant owner Leigh Turner
told the press that they served “two or three a week” during the three
years that the offer was available. No one was ever exposed to any
frontal nudity and towels were always available for the damp and daring.
“Most everybody applauded,” Turner assures.
Nonetheless, John Simko, the Town Manager for the area, apparently was
contacted by the single person to have visited the Black Frog and not
approved. Because of this, Simko has suggested that Police Chief Scott
MacMaster have words with Turner about the sandwich deal. If that
happens, it’ll be a fat chance that nobody will be earning a free Skinny
Dip.
Darklady is Editor at YNOT and has more than a decade of experience
covering the adult entertainment industry, internet technology, and
alternative sexuality beats online, in print, and via traditional and
web radio.
That's right, folks. No more free sammitch for jumping bare into glacial melt water, because someone got offended at the sight of a nekkid tush. Probably the same person who obsessively watches war reports on Fox to see all the dead Iraqis, cause that's so much less offensive.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Fall Card Brigade!
Once again, I am moved to organize a Card Brigade, just because it is fun to get random stuff in the mail!
"A WHAT?" You ask? A Card Brigade.
Send to me** by Sept 23rd
~your lj/Uru/forum/nickname name
~your real name (or the one that snailmail can be addressed to)
~Your snailmail address
~your preferred email address
On Oct 1, you will get a list of 5 names and addresses. Your job is to mail one card to each person, before Oct 31st. Cards can be funny, general, sweet, handmade, commercial, postcards, or whatever. Just remember to keep them fairly clean (unless you know the recipient well). Send a little bit of random cheer to 5 people, and you'll get 5 bits in the mail too!
**(cardbrigade at gmail dot com)
"A WHAT?" You ask? A Card Brigade.
Send to me** by Sept 23rd
~your lj/Uru/forum/nickname name
~your real name (or the one that snailmail can be addressed to)
~Your snailmail address
~your preferred email address
On Oct 1, you will get a list of 5 names and addresses. Your job is to mail one card to each person, before Oct 31st. Cards can be funny, general, sweet, handmade, commercial, postcards, or whatever. Just remember to keep them fairly clean (unless you know the recipient well). Send a little bit of random cheer to 5 people, and you'll get 5 bits in the mail too!
**(cardbrigade at gmail dot com)
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Reclaiming the Living Myth of Uru
imported from the discussion on MOUL
...people played the game, in most part, like it was real, like they were there. They bought into the "D'ni Exists" mythos as part of the experience.
Now, when Uru came again, people expected the same rush that Prologue had given, and it didn't happen, because the content was, because of the new technical needs, primarily the same. Uru had to get back to the square one of prologue, before anything new could really happen.
Because of that, and because of the large influx of new people who are not used to dynamic, changing, *living* enviroments in their MMOS, the overall mood of the cavern has reverted back to 3d chat room.
...how do we get that back? Well, yes, some of it depends on Cyan providing new dynamic content (tech and story) to interact with. But some of it is attitude. How do we interact with the world? Are we a part of it, or just observing it on the computer screen. Are we gaming enviromentally?
Being immersive doesn't mean roleplaying a character, doesn't mean having to be someone other than yourself. It means accepting the virtual world as your own.
Things as simple as the new KI fix that's been mentioned by Cyan. Standing around in Ae'gura, you wouldn't be talking about "the new KI patch with the next build". What does some game company in Washington know about fixing the KI? But Laxman, on the other hand... rumor has it that Laxman has finally come up with a fix for those KI problems, and those should come through the Lattice soon!
See what I mean? Sometimes, technical discussions are unavoidable. But even things like the 'season finale' and the coming break can be discussed in an virtual reality way.
"Sounds like the DRC is going to be haded to the surface for a few months. Wonder what they expect us explorers to do? Wonder what they're planning" sounds a whole lot more real in D'ni than "Cyan isn't going to put out any new content for months! *CRY*"
Give it a try... I think you'll be pleasantly supprised at how the atmosphere of the game changes.
~~~
First impressions are vital... and if we, the Explorers, are just standing around twiddling our thumbs, what impression are we giving?
Yes, much of our interaction hinges on Cyan's release of things to interact with. I maintain that the are NOT hamstrung when Cyan isn't handing us content.
Set aside, for a moment, your dependency on Cyan. Clear out the thought that only Cyan can build sandcastles. Let yourself see possibilities
If you could make Uru a more vibrant, living place, with just the tools (your brain, and your friends!) you have right now, what would you do?
If you could change one thing about how you play Uru to make it a more dynamic place, what would it be?
If you could play enviromentally in Uru, without worrying about the IC/OOC debate, what would that look like for you?
Take some deep breaths and dig deeper into this, really feel D'ni. You're an explorer... somehow you've ended up miles below the surface, in a vast lost civilization. What does that feel like? What does it make you think? What does it make you do?
Every day you come to D'ni you hop through time and space, to places that defy imagination. How does that change you? Your beliefs about how the universe works? Do linking books still awe you, or have they become normal to you?
There's a group down here...the DRC... they've got a tight grip on what we see and do. How does that make you feel? Are you content to wait?
And then there's the Bahro...completely alien, not even humanoid. They are everywhere down here. We hear them daily. And they may be at war with each other. They link without books, and they can kill.
Feel how you react to that. Big, alien creatures that may have a grudge against you, just for being in D'ni. What does that knowledge do to you? How does that change how you move through D'ni? How you gather with others?
We are on the verge of a new episode. I'd like the invite each and every one of you to spend just one day playing the game enviromentally, and being immersive. Don't worry about if you're doing it 'right'. Don't worry about other people's reactions or opinions. Respect people's expressed boundaries, be polite, and spend one day just being yourself...but be yourself IN D'ni, not at your computer.
And then I'd like to invite you to carry that beyond the episode. Allow yourself one or two days day a month, or even a week, to explore immersively. Try some of the simple examples given in the first post, and then expand from there.
...people played the game, in most part, like it was real, like they were there. They bought into the "D'ni Exists" mythos as part of the experience.
Now, when Uru came again, people expected the same rush that Prologue had given, and it didn't happen, because the content was, because of the new technical needs, primarily the same. Uru had to get back to the square one of prologue, before anything new could really happen.
Because of that, and because of the large influx of new people who are not used to dynamic, changing, *living* enviroments in their MMOS, the overall mood of the cavern has reverted back to 3d chat room.
...how do we get that back? Well, yes, some of it depends on Cyan providing new dynamic content (tech and story) to interact with. But some of it is attitude. How do we interact with the world? Are we a part of it, or just observing it on the computer screen. Are we gaming enviromentally?
Being immersive doesn't mean roleplaying a character, doesn't mean having to be someone other than yourself. It means accepting the virtual world as your own.
Things as simple as the new KI fix that's been mentioned by Cyan. Standing around in Ae'gura, you wouldn't be talking about "the new KI patch with the next build". What does some game company in Washington know about fixing the KI? But Laxman, on the other hand... rumor has it that Laxman has finally come up with a fix for those KI problems, and those should come through the Lattice soon!
See what I mean? Sometimes, technical discussions are unavoidable. But even things like the 'season finale' and the coming break can be discussed in an virtual reality way.
"Sounds like the DRC is going to be haded to the surface for a few months. Wonder what they expect us explorers to do? Wonder what they're planning" sounds a whole lot more real in D'ni than "Cyan isn't going to put out any new content for months! *CRY*"
Give it a try... I think you'll be pleasantly supprised at how the atmosphere of the game changes.
~~~
First impressions are vital... and if we, the Explorers, are just standing around twiddling our thumbs, what impression are we giving?
Yes, much of our interaction hinges on Cyan's release of things to interact with. I maintain that the are NOT hamstrung when Cyan isn't handing us content.
Set aside, for a moment, your dependency on Cyan. Clear out the thought that only Cyan can build sandcastles. Let yourself see possibilities
If you could make Uru a more vibrant, living place, with just the tools (your brain, and your friends!) you have right now, what would you do?
If you could change one thing about how you play Uru to make it a more dynamic place, what would it be?
If you could play enviromentally in Uru, without worrying about the IC/OOC debate, what would that look like for you?
Take some deep breaths and dig deeper into this, really feel D'ni. You're an explorer... somehow you've ended up miles below the surface, in a vast lost civilization. What does that feel like? What does it make you think? What does it make you do?
Every day you come to D'ni you hop through time and space, to places that defy imagination. How does that change you? Your beliefs about how the universe works? Do linking books still awe you, or have they become normal to you?
There's a group down here...the DRC... they've got a tight grip on what we see and do. How does that make you feel? Are you content to wait?
And then there's the Bahro...completely alien, not even humanoid. They are everywhere down here. We hear them daily. And they may be at war with each other. They link without books, and they can kill.
Feel how you react to that. Big, alien creatures that may have a grudge against you, just for being in D'ni. What does that knowledge do to you? How does that change how you move through D'ni? How you gather with others?
We are on the verge of a new episode. I'd like the invite each and every one of you to spend just one day playing the game enviromentally, and being immersive. Don't worry about if you're doing it 'right'. Don't worry about other people's reactions or opinions. Respect people's expressed boundaries, be polite, and spend one day just being yourself...but be yourself IN D'ni, not at your computer.
And then I'd like to invite you to carry that beyond the episode. Allow yourself one or two days day a month, or even a week, to explore immersively. Try some of the simple examples given in the first post, and then expand from there.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
What really bitter, painful lives some people must have, when they have the energy to hold and sustain grudges for so long. They cling to it with such a drive and a tenacity that would be admirable in almost every other case. But to see clever, intelligent people reduced to snarling irrationality is kinda sad.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Be BOLD
I don't care how old you are, if you have kids, if you don't, male or female... go see this.
Birth On Labor Day
Birth On Labor Day
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
*rolls eyes*
It's one this to see a meme or other bit of mayhem take over your regular reading material, and say "Not into it today, sorry, have fun."
It is another entirely to lash out at people for participating, and act like they should have *known* you were in a bad mood, and every bit of the mayhem is a personal affront to you.
The former makes me sympathetic, want to find out about the bad day.
The latter tends to make me pissy right back. I have the same reaction to people who whine about happiness on Valentine's day, or bitch about Christmas cheer.
It is another entirely to lash out at people for participating, and act like they should have *known* you were in a bad mood, and every bit of the mayhem is a personal affront to you.
The former makes me sympathetic, want to find out about the bad day.
The latter tends to make me pissy right back. I have the same reaction to people who whine about happiness on Valentine's day, or bitch about Christmas cheer.
Beauty, Beast and Death.
I saw something yesterday that mentioned the Beauty & the Beast TV show was celebrating it's 20th Anniversary.
20 Years? Has it really been 20 years? *thinks* yeah, just before my 15th birthday. That would be 20 years. Jeeze.
20 Years Ago...I almost died. And that moment is inextricably entwined with the Beauty and the Beast show.
I was 14. I was a tiny little thing, maybe 75lbs soaking wet. And I was very sick. What I remember of that time is mostly from people relaying it to me later. It started out as the usual fall cold, morphing into what parents & Dr thought was the usual fall strep throat. Only I kept getting worse. My throat swelled shut, I stopped being able to swallow ( still have trouble), I was too weak to even cough. My fever stayed up, I was spending hours in the shower, trying to feel cooled off.
Blood tests were run, meds were given, needles were jabbed. Still no answers. And here is where my memory is sharpest.
I was lying on the hide-a-bed in the family room, watching tv. I remember it was the aforementioned Beauty and the Beast. and I remember my vision tunneling down, to where all I could see was their faces, and all I could hear was the soft murmur of their voices. I stopped hurting. I stopped feeling feverish. Nothing mattered but those murmurs.
I remember loud voices, being moved, bright lights, sharp pain, sudden cold. It's all a jumble of light and sound and sensation. No meaning to it.
What I know now is this: I was watching tv. My mom came into the room, and I was lying there, eyes open, not noticeably breathing. No chest movement. She screamed for dad, they rushed me to the ER. I was running a fever of 107. I was limp. My BP and pulse were very low.
Stuff was done. I dunno what. Tests were run, Mono was confirmed (after 3 other mono tests came out negative.). Parents were given the option of admitting me, although the Drs felt the worst was over. Mom says now she wished she'd had me admitted, because although I did start to improve after that, things were still very touchy.
Sent home with lots of medicine with codine in it. I developed a mild codine addiction from that, something that challeneges me occasionaly, even now.
Still couldn't swallow, was nearly admitted to the hospital a few days later for severe dehydration. But we managed to get babyfood and water into me.
My birthday was less than a month later. There is one picture of me from then. I'm like a walking skeleton. My eyes are sunken in, my skin hangs on my frame. I look like I'm in pain, even smiling.
I'd had brushes with danger and death before and since the slipped xacto knife in animation class, the diving board accident, the leap into the abyss of depression...
But I've never been so close to, and so aware of, the moment when my soul was about to leave.
20 Years? Has it really been 20 years? *thinks* yeah, just before my 15th birthday. That would be 20 years. Jeeze.
20 Years Ago...I almost died. And that moment is inextricably entwined with the Beauty and the Beast show.
I was 14. I was a tiny little thing, maybe 75lbs soaking wet. And I was very sick. What I remember of that time is mostly from people relaying it to me later. It started out as the usual fall cold, morphing into what parents & Dr thought was the usual fall strep throat. Only I kept getting worse. My throat swelled shut, I stopped being able to swallow ( still have trouble), I was too weak to even cough. My fever stayed up, I was spending hours in the shower, trying to feel cooled off.
Blood tests were run, meds were given, needles were jabbed. Still no answers. And here is where my memory is sharpest.
I was lying on the hide-a-bed in the family room, watching tv. I remember it was the aforementioned Beauty and the Beast. and I remember my vision tunneling down, to where all I could see was their faces, and all I could hear was the soft murmur of their voices. I stopped hurting. I stopped feeling feverish. Nothing mattered but those murmurs.
I remember loud voices, being moved, bright lights, sharp pain, sudden cold. It's all a jumble of light and sound and sensation. No meaning to it.
What I know now is this: I was watching tv. My mom came into the room, and I was lying there, eyes open, not noticeably breathing. No chest movement. She screamed for dad, they rushed me to the ER. I was running a fever of 107. I was limp. My BP and pulse were very low.
Stuff was done. I dunno what. Tests were run, Mono was confirmed (after 3 other mono tests came out negative.). Parents were given the option of admitting me, although the Drs felt the worst was over. Mom says now she wished she'd had me admitted, because although I did start to improve after that, things were still very touchy.
Sent home with lots of medicine with codine in it. I developed a mild codine addiction from that, something that challeneges me occasionaly, even now.
Still couldn't swallow, was nearly admitted to the hospital a few days later for severe dehydration. But we managed to get babyfood and water into me.
My birthday was less than a month later. There is one picture of me from then. I'm like a walking skeleton. My eyes are sunken in, my skin hangs on my frame. I look like I'm in pain, even smiling.
I'd had brushes with danger and death before and since the slipped xacto knife in animation class, the diving board accident, the leap into the abyss of depression...
But I've never been so close to, and so aware of, the moment when my soul was about to leave.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Daaaaaannng.
This is why stupid reality talent shows have any merit whatsoever... because they sometimes uncover people like Paul; a mobile phone salesman from Wales, who spends the first part of the video looking like if he opens his mouth, he's going to be ill...
But that's not what comes out.
Multiple viewings, and I still get goosebumps.
But that's not what comes out.
Multiple viewings, and I still get goosebumps.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
fwoosh.
Miri has lost her first tooth. She is very pleased by this. Her IEP meeting went very well. While they rejected (as expected) the residential school proposal, they do want to put together a plan to better meet all her needs in the school setting.
The little recycled craft store near me is hiring for 3 days a week. I'm going to apply, because I really do need something that I can accomplish without it being a battle. I'll need to find care for Miri on Ths and Fri, but that shouldn't be too bad. Especially given the complete unknowns of Blade's job situation.
Its not just that it was a job. He likes working at Adobe, there was a sense of pride for both of us to say that's where he worked. A year and a half after buying a hose is not a good time for a layoff. *sigh*
The little recycled craft store near me is hiring for 3 days a week. I'm going to apply, because I really do need something that I can accomplish without it being a battle. I'll need to find care for Miri on Ths and Fri, but that shouldn't be too bad. Especially given the complete unknowns of Blade's job situation.
Its not just that it was a job. He likes working at Adobe, there was a sense of pride for both of us to say that's where he worked. A year and a half after buying a hose is not a good time for a layoff. *sigh*
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab
If you haven't ever experienced BPAL, now is a good time, because anything that sticks it to Paris Hilton is a Good Thing. From the New and Shiny page:
Now, don't worry if these perfumes sound...odd smelling. Beth and the Labbies have never come up with something that is just downright NASTY on everyone. And while you're visiting the WEBSITE, take a look around at the 500+ other blends. My favorites are Dragon's Milk and Jester.
We’re going to call this the Bastille Update (thank you, Jeff!).
For a limited time, the following scent will be available on our Limited Edition page:
PRIVILEGE
Polished party-girl sleaze. This is a shameless scent, devoid of caution, regret, or introspection. This perfume reeks of tabloid glamour, and has no substance whatsoever. Armoise, tuberose, white citrus, rose absolute, oakmoss, tiare, tuberose, vanilla, linden, and lemon tree blossom.
Although this scent originated with fine plants and the pure essences, the final result is a grotesque, eerily empty caricature of a debauched, narcissistic would-be debutante.
PRUNO
Jailhouse hooch. Distilled in toilets, this vintage is comprised of chow line droppings, including oranges, apples, ketchup, and sugar.
Is it cruel to commemorate someone’s jail sentence with a festive set of fragrances? Maybe. But it is far fouler to drive drunk, endanger the lives of others, and expect to get away with it because your family has cash.
It is our opinion that everyone should be held accountable for their actions. Period.
These scents will be live for as long as Paris Hilton stays in jail.
Money shouldn’t exempt you from basic human decency, and it certainly shouldn’t shelter you from justice.
(By the way… Candy Spelling, we love you!)
In addition to being a celebration of one irresponsible, horrid person’s comeuppance, these scents do go to a good cause… albeit, in BPAL’s crass, snotty fashion. A portion of each sale of Privilege and Pruno will be donated to Southern California women’s shelters.
- In the interests of privacy and at least a sliver of good taste, the specific shelters are staying under a veil of anonymity. We hope you understand.
Now, don't worry if these perfumes sound...odd smelling. Beth and the Labbies have never come up with something that is just downright NASTY on everyone. And while you're visiting the WEBSITE, take a look around at the 500+ other blends. My favorites are Dragon's Milk and Jester.
Monday, June 04, 2007
The Great Cyan Snake Caper!
Blade, Mousie, Teryn and I were able to make the trek to Cyan this last weekend, to deliver the IMMENSE amount of coffee that the fans raised money for.
We stopped by, and most everyone was at lunch, so we put all the treats on display, and headed out for lunch ourselves. While leaving I noted something large in the driveway.
"Was that a rattlesnake?" I asked Blade. "Buh?" he replied.
Some time, and a few chalupas, later, we returned to find the afternoon disk golf run in full swing, and Byron mowing the lawn. And the large snake still curled up in the middle of the driveway.
Inside, we got a dose of classic Cyan hospitality, with warm greeting from Rand & Tony, and lots of ooohing and aahhhing over the coffee. Then I piped up with
"I see you guys hired a new guard."
Puzzled looks all around.
"There's a big old rattlesnake in the driveway."
"What? Really? Like, right now?"
Moke had to go look, and decided the appropriate tool for the job was a golf club from his office.
"What *is* he doing?"
"I think he's going to go poke at it..."
Nothing would do then but everyone else had to go take a look, too.
By this time, Byron has moved the snake to the side of the road, it being an EX snake, due to it's unfortunate placement in the middle of the driveway.
But there was Moke, poking at it with a golf club, and lifting it up. It was a couple feet long, at least. Then, seeing no rattles, but knowing that rattlers do shed their rattles, it was decided to check for fangs. So they were poking at the head, and opening the mouth. No fangs to be seen, so they decided it must not have been a rattlesnake.
I am still KICKING myself for forgetting my camera**, because they were having WAY to much fun trying to figure this snake out.
Rand thanked us for bringing the week's entertainment :)
** pics of the coffee were obtained, though.
We stopped by, and most everyone was at lunch, so we put all the treats on display, and headed out for lunch ourselves. While leaving I noted something large in the driveway.
"Was that a rattlesnake?" I asked Blade. "Buh?" he replied.
Some time, and a few chalupas, later, we returned to find the afternoon disk golf run in full swing, and Byron mowing the lawn. And the large snake still curled up in the middle of the driveway.
Inside, we got a dose of classic Cyan hospitality, with warm greeting from Rand & Tony, and lots of ooohing and aahhhing over the coffee. Then I piped up with
"I see you guys hired a new guard."
Puzzled looks all around.
"There's a big old rattlesnake in the driveway."
"What? Really? Like, right now?"
Moke had to go look, and decided the appropriate tool for the job was a golf club from his office.
"What *is* he doing?"
"I think he's going to go poke at it..."
Nothing would do then but everyone else had to go take a look, too.
By this time, Byron has moved the snake to the side of the road, it being an EX snake, due to it's unfortunate placement in the middle of the driveway.
But there was Moke, poking at it with a golf club, and lifting it up. It was a couple feet long, at least. Then, seeing no rattles, but knowing that rattlers do shed their rattles, it was decided to check for fangs. So they were poking at the head, and opening the mouth. No fangs to be seen, so they decided it must not have been a rattlesnake.
I am still KICKING myself for forgetting my camera**, because they were having WAY to much fun trying to figure this snake out.
Rand thanked us for bringing the week's entertainment :)
** pics of the coffee were obtained, though.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Do to the sudden blanket censorship on LiveJournal, I may be moving my blogging entirely to here. This move may include removing this blog from MystBlogs. There are aspects of my life that, while I do not hide them, and am in no way ashamed of them, I don't feel the need to go flag waving about them, either.
Friday, May 25, 2007
What's the deal here?
Given the server issues yesterday on MOUL, someone made the suggestion to bombard the GameTap suggestion box with "fund better servers for Cyan" This was the partial response:
If Gametap is funding the game, why is Cyan having to rent servers from Gametap? Why isn't providing adequate equipment part of the deal? That's Gametap putting their own money back into their own pockets!
This really really bothers me. The implications of it are very disturbing. "We'll promote your little game, offer it through our service, but only if you rent all your equipment from us, and we get to decide if it makes us enough money."
As much as I love Uru, and would be heartbroken to see it go, is Gametap scamming Cyan worth it?
Also, any hardware issues URU may be having with the servers they rent are due to the type of servers they are willing to rent from us, and is there responsability to upgrade to better hardware.
Thank you,
GameTap Associate
If Gametap is funding the game, why is Cyan having to rent servers from Gametap? Why isn't providing adequate equipment part of the deal? That's Gametap putting their own money back into their own pockets!
This really really bothers me. The implications of it are very disturbing. "We'll promote your little game, offer it through our service, but only if you rent all your equipment from us, and we get to decide if it makes us enough money."
As much as I love Uru, and would be heartbroken to see it go, is Gametap scamming Cyan worth it?
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Winter of our discontent
I figured out why I'm getting so pissy at the forums. It's the Not Good Enough mentality that I'm seeing out of some people. Nothing Cyan is doing is Good Enough for them. They have to analize the quality and quantity of every little aspect, and they just won't sit back and let it flow.
They bitched there was no story...and now the story isn't being done right...
They bitched there was no new ages...and then the ages weren't complex enough...
How this is implemented is lacking, how that is going is the wrong direction...
It's like being a food critic... they can't just enjoy a sandwich, they have to examine the mayonnase ratio and the texture of the bread and the thickness of the fillings, focus on every little minutea that might lower the sandwich's worthiness in their eyes.
It might be a perfectly good, enjoyable sandwich, but they can't stop themselves from looking at it under a mental microscope.
I had a boyfiend (not a typo) who was like that about movies. He couldn't just watch and enjoy a movie, every movie had to meet certain criteria he had for what made a 'good' movie...and if it didn't meet that, he would spend huge amounts of effort picking apart all the movie's flaws.
That's what I'm seeing on the MOUL forums, completely aside from the whiners, it's the "this is nice BUT..." crowd. They're so busy poking at flaws, that they can't just relax and enjoy themselves.
They bitched there was no story...and now the story isn't being done right...
They bitched there was no new ages...and then the ages weren't complex enough...
How this is implemented is lacking, how that is going is the wrong direction...
It's like being a food critic... they can't just enjoy a sandwich, they have to examine the mayonnase ratio and the texture of the bread and the thickness of the fillings, focus on every little minutea that might lower the sandwich's worthiness in their eyes.
It might be a perfectly good, enjoyable sandwich, but they can't stop themselves from looking at it under a mental microscope.
I had a boyfiend (not a typo) who was like that about movies. He couldn't just watch and enjoy a movie, every movie had to meet certain criteria he had for what made a 'good' movie...and if it didn't meet that, he would spend huge amounts of effort picking apart all the movie's flaws.
That's what I'm seeing on the MOUL forums, completely aside from the whiners, it's the "this is nice BUT..." crowd. They're so busy poking at flaws, that they can't just relax and enjoy themselves.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
OOC in the midst of IC
It's always been a big debate in URU... who has more right to a space, the IC or the OOC people. The pub in the city is a hotbed of PLANNED story activity right now. It is where THE story is happening. And the last few times I was there, there was a whole lot of OOC conversation going on.
Setting asside the discussion of OOC vs IC and how to be immersive and all... being blatantly OOC when the story is evolving right in front of you strikes me as really rude.
It strikes me as even ruder when it starts to appear that the people who are being the most OOC are just there in the city, taking up a city slot, for the sake of saying that they're in there. They don't really have a care for the story, they just want to be in on the action.
That bugs me. There are people who have a real IC reason to be there (take me, or any of the former Liaisons; Michael is, for many of us, a friend. Or the people who have spent time with and talked to Wheely. They should be there), who aren't able to realisticly play out their bit of the story, because of people who don't care.
Setting asside the discussion of OOC vs IC and how to be immersive and all... being blatantly OOC when the story is evolving right in front of you strikes me as really rude.
It strikes me as even ruder when it starts to appear that the people who are being the most OOC are just there in the city, taking up a city slot, for the sake of saying that they're in there. They don't really have a care for the story, they just want to be in on the action.
That bugs me. There are people who have a real IC reason to be there (take me, or any of the former Liaisons; Michael is, for many of us, a friend. Or the people who have spent time with and talked to Wheely. They should be there), who aren't able to realisticly play out their bit of the story, because of people who don't care.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
contradiction
Emilio's mother, Catarina Gonzales, on the other hand, is fighting to keep her son on the ventilator, allowing him to die "naturally, the wayGod intended."
A VENTILATOR is not natural, lady. That tech is ARTIFICIALLY keeping your child alive. If you wanted your child to die "...naturally, the way God intended." then you would quit fighting the hospital, unhook him from the life support, cuddle him up in a blanket, and sing softly to him until he slipped the bonds of the body that is unable to hold his soul.
A VENTILATOR is not natural, lady. That tech is ARTIFICIALLY keeping your child alive. If you wanted your child to die "...naturally, the way God intended." then you would quit fighting the hospital, unhook him from the life support, cuddle him up in a blanket, and sing softly to him until he slipped the bonds of the body that is unable to hold his soul.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Hacked Uru Files rantrantrant
I know people do it, check into the game files to see what's new, or what might be in an area. And I know some people will use those game files to solve puzzles, or figure out what is/isn't going to happen...
To my mind, that's cheating, with a big ol' C, and an exploit to boot. Not to mention it completely steps outside the spirit of the game, and it can screw things up. Look at all the hubub about Neghilan animals, from a hacked file that didn't even exist anymore.
It makes me snarly, but until Cyan figures out a way to block those files...*shrug*
What makes my blood boil though, is when people start posting the information they've gotten from hacked files. "Well, it has to be this, because I found XYZ in the game files!". Worse, when they do it without spoiler tags.
Uhhhhuh. Why not just slap CHEATER across your forehead and have done? Guarantees I won't ever believe you solved a puzzle on your own.
Look, you wanna hack the game, go right ahead. No one can stop you. If you wanna say its OK to do, a time honored MMO tradition, you keep telling yourself that, if it makes you feel justified.
But quit trying to sully and soil the gameplay for others. It doesn't make you look smart, or clever. it makes you look like someone who's too lazy to actually play the game, and enjoy it.
To my mind, that's cheating, with a big ol' C, and an exploit to boot. Not to mention it completely steps outside the spirit of the game, and it can screw things up. Look at all the hubub about Neghilan animals, from a hacked file that didn't even exist anymore.
It makes me snarly, but until Cyan figures out a way to block those files...*shrug*
What makes my blood boil though, is when people start posting the information they've gotten from hacked files. "Well, it has to be this, because I found XYZ in the game files!". Worse, when they do it without spoiler tags.
Uhhhhuh. Why not just slap CHEATER across your forehead and have done? Guarantees I won't ever believe you solved a puzzle on your own.
Look, you wanna hack the game, go right ahead. No one can stop you. If you wanna say its OK to do, a time honored MMO tradition, you keep telling yourself that, if it makes you feel justified.
But quit trying to sully and soil the gameplay for others. It doesn't make you look smart, or clever. it makes you look like someone who's too lazy to actually play the game, and enjoy it.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Hmm
http://www.komotv.com/news/entertainment/5334051.html
A movie, that through peicing together of scenes, you understand that a young girl is being raped. The move doesn't portray it in a positive light, it's a scene, in a move, that's described as dark and Gothic. I suspect that the scene in question is just one of many things that happen to highlight the suffering of the character.
People are decrying it as 'child pornography'. It seems they'd be much happier shoving under the rug even the implication that this happens to our children.
I could name, with a small bit of thought, a good dozen movies where children die...but imply that someone can violate them sexually, and suddenly it's 'porn'. Sheesh.
A movie, that through peicing together of scenes, you understand that a young girl is being raped. The move doesn't portray it in a positive light, it's a scene, in a move, that's described as dark and Gothic. I suspect that the scene in question is just one of many things that happen to highlight the suffering of the character.
People are decrying it as 'child pornography'. It seems they'd be much happier shoving under the rug even the implication that this happens to our children.
I could name, with a small bit of thought, a good dozen movies where children die...but imply that someone can violate them sexually, and suddenly it's 'porn'. Sheesh.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Wow
This is a quote from someone who grew up a religious fundamentalist:
As frustrating and pathetic and dangerous as fundamentalists can be, please rememember that they are afraid. For them, God's love is conditional, and his punishment is collective. I know that it is no excuse to deny civil and reproductive rights to others - but what they really need is to know that they are worthy of love, and have love to give, no matter who they are. That is something that they say, but do not really believe. God(dess) help them.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
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