Who I am, what I am, what I do, has never been much of a secret. No need for flag waving, and no need for hiding under a rock either. If someone asks, I'll answer as appropriate. If someone wants to go Google me, go for it.
Worrying about who might be whispering behind my back, or talking dirt about me in some seekrit forum, or throwing darts at pictures of me... that's not part of my life anymore. It's not important, not worth the energy spent on fretting, or trying to change people's minds, or defending myself.
I feel a sadness for the nifty people I may never really get to know, because they've chosen to dislike me, even more so if they've chosen to do so without making an informed choice. But that is their choice, not mine.
I have made choices too. There are people I have distanced myself from because of their words and deeds. That is my lookout, not theirs, and the door is open if behaviours change. I don't need to stand at the ready with tar and feathers, in case someone I have issues with steps 'out of line'. It is not in me to hate. Frustration, annoyance, yes. But those can be dealt with quietly, in my own head, or privately with trusted friends. I learn from the rash actions of my past, take stock in what's truly valuable, and move on.
Healing takes many forms. Slowly, I've been able to lay aside those agreements I had with myself, born of years of emotional need, that demanded I have everyone's acceptance, that everyone see me in the same light. From it comes a quiet understanding that all I need to be is me, and people will come and go around me as their agreements demand.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Random Noodlings
Established patterns of behavior are often much more telling than single incidents. Especially when dealing with situations where specific incidents are difficult to isolate. Mousie is a prime example. What triggers it? Dunno, cause it happens all the time. What did so and so do that people dislike them? Dunno, they're just like that...
My wedding ring stayed on my hand the entire 9 hours in the ER...and then promptly vanished upon arriving home. GRR!
If I was to have just one single Last Day Of Uru wish, it would be that I could walk into cavern wearing my usual sleeveless shirt that says "CAUTION! 10ft Aura of Permissiveness". That would make me a Very Happy Eleri.
How does one misplace a 1 gallon jug of lotion?!? By putting it UP on a shelf, evidently.
I smell like a COOKIE!
Off to check out this office space. Wish me luck!
My wedding ring stayed on my hand the entire 9 hours in the ER...and then promptly vanished upon arriving home. GRR!
If I was to have just one single Last Day Of Uru wish, it would be that I could walk into cavern wearing my usual sleeveless shirt that says "CAUTION! 10ft Aura of Permissiveness". That would make me a Very Happy Eleri.
How does one misplace a 1 gallon jug of lotion?!? By putting it UP on a shelf, evidently.
I smell like a COOKIE!
Off to check out this office space. Wish me luck!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Was Uru a Sacrifice?
Cyan Worlds was dead. And not just metaphorically so, they had closed their doors, sent the workers home. Just Tony and Rand were left, to tie up some loose ends, and wait on the answer to a long shot.
It was a long shot that came through. GameTap would publish Uru Live.
Very few companies are brought back from the brink in this way, and Cyan would have been NUTS to put all their eggs in the Uru basket.
So what to do? You have a game that may bring in lots of people, may grow large, but from day one you know you won't have the resources to devote to it to make it as optimally performing as it can be. But, the act of putting it out there is going to bring in money...money that will keep you open, money that will mean you can keep working.
You put the game out there, you give it just enough to keep it afloat for the contract year, and you work your ass off on other options. You make absolutely sure you have other irons in the fire.
If the Uru works, cool. If not, then your company is still alive, something that it most decidedly wasn't a couple years ago.
Cyan had to have known that they would be struggling to keep Uru dynamic with what they had, and they seemed to ignore many efforts to uplift their efforts. Maybe that was because their main focus wasn't, and never had been, Uru. Uru was the crash cart, the ambulance. The other things they started working on were the things that were meant to sustain life.
It makes a whole lot of sense. Look how, after EoA, they were done with the D'niverse, and then suddenly Uru was back. Look at how the story started to lean in the direction of user-created Ages being the salvation. How the Guilds that were presented were the ones that supported community continuity and Age Building. How they're talking about hosting their own servers now.
Maybe their whole focus has been 'keep Uru running long enough to get our heads above water, and then give it back to the fans'.
It was a long shot that came through. GameTap would publish Uru Live.
Very few companies are brought back from the brink in this way, and Cyan would have been NUTS to put all their eggs in the Uru basket.
So what to do? You have a game that may bring in lots of people, may grow large, but from day one you know you won't have the resources to devote to it to make it as optimally performing as it can be. But, the act of putting it out there is going to bring in money...money that will keep you open, money that will mean you can keep working.
You put the game out there, you give it just enough to keep it afloat for the contract year, and you work your ass off on other options. You make absolutely sure you have other irons in the fire.
If the Uru works, cool. If not, then your company is still alive, something that it most decidedly wasn't a couple years ago.
Cyan had to have known that they would be struggling to keep Uru dynamic with what they had, and they seemed to ignore many efforts to uplift their efforts. Maybe that was because their main focus wasn't, and never had been, Uru. Uru was the crash cart, the ambulance. The other things they started working on were the things that were meant to sustain life.
It makes a whole lot of sense. Look how, after EoA, they were done with the D'niverse, and then suddenly Uru was back. Look at how the story started to lean in the direction of user-created Ages being the salvation. How the Guilds that were presented were the ones that supported community continuity and Age Building. How they're talking about hosting their own servers now.
Maybe their whole focus has been 'keep Uru running long enough to get our heads above water, and then give it back to the fans'.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Heretical thoughts re: Uru
There are two camps emerging in the aftermath of the MOUL closure announcement;
Side One feels Uru should be given a good long rest, and not revived until it's been given a complete overhaul from the ground up, rethought from concept to implimentation.
Side Two feels that access should be granted as soon as possible to online Uru in some form, so that people can socialize, and build/change their enviroment.
The two ideas are not entirely incompatable.
I have always held the controversial viewpoint that Until Uru (as kick-ass and positive as it was) had a detrimental impact on the immersive potential of Uru Live. We spent so much time playing on the 'set' as it were, that when the play started, suspension of disbelief became difficult.
Imagine that you and some coworkers do a Civil War recreation group on the weekends... there's a different way of socializing, speaking, behaving, because you're putting yourself in that space, complete with enviroment and costumes.
Now, imagine that instead of going home from a recreating weekend, your 'real life' comes there. All the office politics and behaviors and social structure is now taking place in the Civil War area of your life. Eventually, you get used to it.
Then, one weekend, it goes back to being the Civil War, and not the office. All of a sudden, you're back to having to think like the Civil War. And, there's people there now who were never around for the recreation group, all they know is Office while Wearing Uniform. And they think the Civil War is getting in the way of them getting anything done.
The magic, the wall between 'real world' and 'alternative world' gets smashed, and once it is, it is REALLY hard to get back.
It's the same thing that keeps Disneyland from allowing costumed characters to be seen out of character.
The line between 'just a place to hand out' and 'the world of the D'niverse' was so blurred, it was very hard to tell when we'd crossed it.
More people saw Uru-the-enviroment as a social outlet, than a fantasy story world. So story, as sparse as it was, held second fiddle to social interaction. Not a bad thing, but not ideal, either.
So, how to balance keeping the world of the D'ni as something 'special', and not just a hackable, customizeable 3D chat room ala Until Uru, and still provide that UU like space for people to hang out in, and build Ages?
It can be done, and even fit the existing story.
Retool Uru/UU into something new... make Relto, the Neighborhoods, Eder Delin and Eder Tsoghal available. Give N'uru a Nexus that has those places only, and can be customized by the shard admin to allow links to new, player-made areas and ages.
Leave D'ni, and the other Ages, off-limits for now. The places above, and any place new that the players come up with, are the only places 'safe' from the Bahro, for now.
This gives people the Uru enviroment to socialize in, but leaves the majority of the world of Uru in Cyan's hands, to be kept as 'magic' space, so that when the story can be resumed, we can all enter into it with a sense of wonder.
This would also cut down on one of the serious plagues of MOUL: "BTDT Syndrome". People who'd been living off of UU were BORED SILLY in MOUL, right off the bat, because the content was stuff they'd been seeing and gone over with a fine-toothed comb for years.
Cyan could make changes to places like Kadish Tolesa, or Teledahn, in preparation for re-release (which could even happen to N'uru servers...), and they would seem new to people, because they weren't the Same Ol' Scenery.
Side One feels Uru should be given a good long rest, and not revived until it's been given a complete overhaul from the ground up, rethought from concept to implimentation.
Side Two feels that access should be granted as soon as possible to online Uru in some form, so that people can socialize, and build/change their enviroment.
The two ideas are not entirely incompatable.
I have always held the controversial viewpoint that Until Uru (as kick-ass and positive as it was) had a detrimental impact on the immersive potential of Uru Live. We spent so much time playing on the 'set' as it were, that when the play started, suspension of disbelief became difficult.
Imagine that you and some coworkers do a Civil War recreation group on the weekends... there's a different way of socializing, speaking, behaving, because you're putting yourself in that space, complete with enviroment and costumes.
Now, imagine that instead of going home from a recreating weekend, your 'real life' comes there. All the office politics and behaviors and social structure is now taking place in the Civil War area of your life. Eventually, you get used to it.
Then, one weekend, it goes back to being the Civil War, and not the office. All of a sudden, you're back to having to think like the Civil War. And, there's people there now who were never around for the recreation group, all they know is Office while Wearing Uniform. And they think the Civil War is getting in the way of them getting anything done.
The magic, the wall between 'real world' and 'alternative world' gets smashed, and once it is, it is REALLY hard to get back.
It's the same thing that keeps Disneyland from allowing costumed characters to be seen out of character.
The line between 'just a place to hand out' and 'the world of the D'niverse' was so blurred, it was very hard to tell when we'd crossed it.
More people saw Uru-the-enviroment as a social outlet, than a fantasy story world. So story, as sparse as it was, held second fiddle to social interaction. Not a bad thing, but not ideal, either.
So, how to balance keeping the world of the D'ni as something 'special', and not just a hackable, customizeable 3D chat room ala Until Uru, and still provide that UU like space for people to hang out in, and build Ages?
It can be done, and even fit the existing story.
Retool Uru/UU into something new... make Relto, the Neighborhoods, Eder Delin and Eder Tsoghal available. Give N'uru a Nexus that has those places only, and can be customized by the shard admin to allow links to new, player-made areas and ages.
Leave D'ni, and the other Ages, off-limits for now. The places above, and any place new that the players come up with, are the only places 'safe' from the Bahro, for now.
This gives people the Uru enviroment to socialize in, but leaves the majority of the world of Uru in Cyan's hands, to be kept as 'magic' space, so that when the story can be resumed, we can all enter into it with a sense of wonder.
This would also cut down on one of the serious plagues of MOUL: "BTDT Syndrome". People who'd been living off of UU were BORED SILLY in MOUL, right off the bat, because the content was stuff they'd been seeing and gone over with a fine-toothed comb for years.
Cyan could make changes to places like Kadish Tolesa, or Teledahn, in preparation for re-release (which could even happen to N'uru servers...), and they would seem new to people, because they weren't the Same Ol' Scenery.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Hmm. That could be interesting.
UU Shard-like Uru servers, with intermittant purchaseable 'expansion packs' from Cyan.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Monday, February 04, 2008
Time to move on
Someone asked, how do you want Uru to keep going?
I don't.
I would like Uru to take a much needed break, and quit trying to duct tape it together. I would like Cyan to move on for a while, and pour some of their creative energy into something new and unique. I would like to see them take new paths, that they haven;t walked because they've been focused on Uru.
Nor am I fleeing GameTap. I enjoy stuff that I get out of GT besides Uru. I paid all of $5 a month for the next year. BFD. I pay more than that a month for pizza. I understand the people who are canceling, but I don't feel I'm doing something wrong by not sending that particular 'message' to GT.
Yes, this is very different than my last post. I've had time to think, now.
I don't.
I would like Uru to take a much needed break, and quit trying to duct tape it together. I would like Cyan to move on for a while, and pour some of their creative energy into something new and unique. I would like to see them take new paths, that they haven;t walked because they've been focused on Uru.
Nor am I fleeing GameTap. I enjoy stuff that I get out of GT besides Uru. I paid all of $5 a month for the next year. BFD. I pay more than that a month for pizza. I understand the people who are canceling, but I don't feel I'm doing something wrong by not sending that particular 'message' to GT.
Yes, this is very different than my last post. I've had time to think, now.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
If the Sky Were to Fall
If the worse were to happen, and we woke up tomorrow to the news that GameTap was pulling Uru Live...it would suck giant glacial erratic rocks through small coffee straws. We all know that. There would be the expected stages of grieving- anger, blame-denial-sadness-etc. But would we be bereft?
No.
Because UU still exists. Sure, the auth server isn't available, but it *was*. And it could be again.
If I were to run a Post-MOUL-Uru, this is what I would do:
~Reinstate the Kagi key, or a similar fee-for-access system. A one time thing, or a monthly fee. Something reasonable, but enough to keep the auth server running.
~ Encourage non-digital cannon content through creative storytelling. Give players things to work with. Create NPCs. Give them, under NDA, to some trusted players. Give these characters cannon story to work with. Let them share DRC notebooks, translations, tidbits of knowledge. Encourage these NPCs to visit multiple shards, so all the shards can participate.
~Make a STORY reason for the shards. Instancing has already been introduced into the D'niverse, maybe the only way to flee safely from the Bahro, was to split off into individual worlds.
~AGE BUILDING. Make it happen. Make it happen as fast as it possibly could.
No.
Because UU still exists. Sure, the auth server isn't available, but it *was*. And it could be again.
If I were to run a Post-MOUL-Uru, this is what I would do:
~Reinstate the Kagi key, or a similar fee-for-access system. A one time thing, or a monthly fee. Something reasonable, but enough to keep the auth server running.
~ Encourage non-digital cannon content through creative storytelling. Give players things to work with. Create NPCs. Give them, under NDA, to some trusted players. Give these characters cannon story to work with. Let them share DRC notebooks, translations, tidbits of knowledge. Encourage these NPCs to visit multiple shards, so all the shards can participate.
~Make a STORY reason for the shards. Instancing has already been introduced into the D'niverse, maybe the only way to flee safely from the Bahro, was to split off into individual worlds.
~AGE BUILDING. Make it happen. Make it happen as fast as it possibly could.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
yeahthat
consistantly, Blade says things better than I can, and makes me stop and regroup.
I haven't been doing as much as usual with Uru lately, because I'm frazzled in general, I'm tired of feeling like I'm working uphill, and now, I'm content to just wait and see.
*sigh* Uru was not was it was originally intended to be. And I'm sorry that has been so disappointing for so many people.
But I'm tired of these people. The 'old guard', the 'new guard'. I'm tired of hearing about how everyone is so disappointed by the game, the new people, the old people, Cyan, GameTap, UbiSoft, whomever. I'm tired of fingers being pointed at me, fingers being pointed at people pointing fingers, like a bunch of bitter old people sitting on a porch, arguing about whose back hurts the most.
Maybe it's because I'm bad mood today, but my sympathy is at zero right now.
If Uru something that is so disappointing to you, for the love of God go do something else. Don't sit around taking potshots at others because they are enjoying themselves when you did not. Do something you enjoy and let others enjoy what they enjoy.
If you enjoy Uru, just enjoy Uru. There is no need to push your opinion on others who might not. Don't take it as your God-given crusade to defend it or Cyan from anyone. It's not your job to defend Cyan or Uru from its detractors or its own flaws. Play your game and, with dignity, allow others to have their own opinion.
I haven't been doing as much as usual with Uru lately, because I'm frazzled in general, I'm tired of feeling like I'm working uphill, and now, I'm content to just wait and see.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Wisdom of the Blade
because once again he says something better than I can.
People are free to annoucne their intentions, one way or another. I understand those people who are bored with Uru and have no desire to spend any money on something that they are bored or frustrated with. I certainly don't want anyone to be in a position where they feel they have to do that.
I also understand the frustration of the rabid Myst fan, as I am one. The rabid defense of the game is, I think, more really a self-defense. I know I get tired of being told that something I enjoy and value is boring, worthless, a waste of money. The implication here is that I'm some sort of moron because I am not bored, do not think Uru is worthless and I do not feel I am wasting my money.
I get very tired of told that I can't possibly be having fun when I, in fact, am. And I get tired that because I enjoy my game and I am willing to say so, and I try to work with my community that I have a 'pervasive snobbish global hippie vibe'. Of course, the reverse is true. I tire quickly of being told that I just don't understand or am not using my imagination enough when I am not enjoying something. So the sword cuts both ways.
In many ways, I think people get so riled up about these sorts of things in Uru because a lot of us see Uru as a refuge from the rest of the gaming world. A lot of people who gravitate to the Myst franchise do so because at least some of their interests are not being served by the rest of the games out there. Maybe they don't like violent games, or competitive games, or can't play the other games that are out there (they just don't have the hand-eye coordination, fast 3D environments make them sick, etc.). Maybe the sense of virtual archaeology that seems unique to Myst interests them more than puzzles alone, or the surreal-yet-not-aggressive nature of the background. For those people, the Myst franchise and its communities are a haven. And people often get angry when it seems like their sanctuary is being disrupted.
Maybe that's just my hippie vibe showing.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Logging In
Here's questions for everybuggy to ponder;
Why do people who don't see a reason to log into Uru seem so determined to prove to everyone else that there's no reason to log in?
Why do people who see reasons to be in Uru seem so determined to draw people in, even in the face of long odds?
What are people's positive intentions for their actions?
Do either of them serve Uru, and the community, and how?
Which is worse, an empty cavern, or a cavern full of people twiddling their thumbs?
Why do people who don't see a reason to log into Uru seem so determined to prove to everyone else that there's no reason to log in?
Why do people who see reasons to be in Uru seem so determined to draw people in, even in the face of long odds?
What are people's positive intentions for their actions?
Do either of them serve Uru, and the community, and how?
Which is worse, an empty cavern, or a cavern full of people twiddling their thumbs?
Thursday, January 10, 2008
God is Love
Because my Blade is a deeply wise person:
From a legal perspective, any set of capable, consenting people should be allowed to enter into any relationship or set of relationships they want to with each other and call it whatever they want.
From a religious perspective, God is love. All love. Even the types of love someone else doesn't like. To block love or it's expressions, you are actively defying and opposing God.
Monday, January 07, 2008
Hmm
I've come to the conclusion, though reading and observation, that extreme Libertarianism is at its core, selfish. It revolves around a platform of "This is mine, I should be able to do whatever I want with it, however I want, whenever I want." and "What is mine, stays mine, and benefits me, and I have no obligations, social or otherwise, to any other person or institution."
This is diametrically opposed to my position on things; which is that we, as a society; and on behalf of that society, the government; have a moral obligation to make sure that our society is healthy, educated and safe. Things like public health, public safety, and public education should be absolute priorities for any society, because those three things provide a solid foundation for a thriving community. Healthy, educated people contribute more, and cost less overall, than people who are uneducated and ill. People who live in communities where they don't live in fear of violence, crime or disaster, are able to focus on more then mere survival, and can contribute to the community as a whole.
It is utterly bewildering to me that there are people who can't see the core value in making sure people are healthy, educated and safe. I dunno, I guess I just can't buy in to the American Darwinism that some people feel is the One True Way.
This is diametrically opposed to my position on things; which is that we, as a society; and on behalf of that society, the government; have a moral obligation to make sure that our society is healthy, educated and safe. Things like public health, public safety, and public education should be absolute priorities for any society, because those three things provide a solid foundation for a thriving community. Healthy, educated people contribute more, and cost less overall, than people who are uneducated and ill. People who live in communities where they don't live in fear of violence, crime or disaster, are able to focus on more then mere survival, and can contribute to the community as a whole.
It is utterly bewildering to me that there are people who can't see the core value in making sure people are healthy, educated and safe. I dunno, I guess I just can't buy in to the American Darwinism that some people feel is the One True Way.
There was this guy...
Who got sent to Iraq. And his asked a good friend, "If I die, post this last message on my blog for me."
That last post is up, now.
That last post is up, now.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Y'know, if ever I, or anyone I care about, was ever attacked by a large predator, I would hope that the authorities would take whatever measures needed to contain the animal. Up to and including killing it.
And I would hope that everyone would understand that the animal was not acting out of maliciousness or cruelty, or a burning desire to make life horrible for some humans, but just doing what it was designed to do.
And I would hope that everyone would understand that the animal was not acting out of maliciousness or cruelty, or a burning desire to make life horrible for some humans, but just doing what it was designed to do.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Not the only game in town
No, you can't take the Christ out of Christmas.
But you can take it out of Hannukah and Ramadan and Yule and all the OTHER holy-days of the Season, that deserve to exist without being bullied around by Christmas.
Oh, and the X in Xmas... comes from the first letter of the Greek work for Christ. Sorry, no persecution there.
But you can take it out of Hannukah and Ramadan and Yule and all the OTHER holy-days of the Season, that deserve to exist without being bullied around by Christmas.
Oh, and the X in Xmas... comes from the first letter of the Greek work for Christ. Sorry, no persecution there.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Coookiieeeessss
I came up with these while playing around making holiday cookies. Really buttery, with a maple chaser. Num.
1c butter
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup real maple syrup
3 cups flour
extra:
1/4 cup brown sugar
Cream together butter, sugar and syrup. Slowly mix in 3 cups flour until dough comes away from side of bowl. Shape into 1/2 inch balls, and press one side gently into brown sugar. Place cookies 1 inch apart, brown sugar up, on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 for 8-10 minutes, or until bottoms are golden brown. Keep questing fingers out of the kitchen until they've cooled, or they'll vanish.
1c butter
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup real maple syrup
3 cups flour
extra:
1/4 cup brown sugar
Cream together butter, sugar and syrup. Slowly mix in 3 cups flour until dough comes away from side of bowl. Shape into 1/2 inch balls, and press one side gently into brown sugar. Place cookies 1 inch apart, brown sugar up, on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 for 8-10 minutes, or until bottoms are golden brown. Keep questing fingers out of the kitchen until they've cooled, or they'll vanish.
Friday, December 07, 2007
The universe speaks in many languages, but only one voice...It speaks in the language of hope.
It speaks in the language of trust.
It speaks in the language of strength and the language of compassion.
It is the language of the heart and the language of the soul.
But always it is the same voice.
It is the voice of our ancestors speaking through us and the voice of our inheritors waiting to be born.
The small, still voice that says:
We are one. No matter the blood, no matter the skin, no matter the world, no matter the star. .. We are one. No matter the pain, no matter the darkness, no matter the loss, no matter the fear. .. We are one.
Here, gathered together in common cause, we begin to realize this singular truth and this singular rule that we must be kind to one another.
Because each voice enriches us and ennobles us and each voice lost diminishes us.
We are the voice of the universe, the soul of creation, the fire that will light our way to a better future.
We are one.
We are one.
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