You say you want a revolution...

A freind of mine is a very devout Christian, and where we diverge on beliefs, he doesn't beat people over the head with it. His idea of Christian is one who follows a Christ-like life.

So I have a habbit of emailing him links to what I tend to call Stupid Christian Tricks. You know the ones, like what the Phelps morons are up to lately, or why the park service can't talk about how old the Grand Canyon is.

So he asks me "Why you send me this stuff - just so I don't want to call myself a Christian anymore?"

And my honest response was "No, so you will. Your faith is stronger than a hundred of those goobers, and it's people like you who will make things like this fade into obscurity, by reminding the world of what real Christianity is."

I wanna see all the non-freaky Christians of the US start standing up and telling the hard core fundamentalists, the so-called Christians who'll stop at nothing to see that the US becomes their way or the highway, that they are Sick and Tired of the "religious reich" being the public face of Christianity. I want to see them stand up and show the world that the extremists are not the soul of the path.

Why Uru Live Matters

I think Uru's power, and the reason the gaming industry should stand up and take notice is twofold:

First, it got brought back to life on the power of the concept, and the enthusiasm of the fan base. This has never happened before, usualy once a game gets killed, especially if the boxed bversion is on the shelves already, it stays dead.

The only real analogy out there is the Browncoats and Firefly. Uru Live is the Serenity of the gaming world.

It took GameTap's willingness & vision of reaching out to smaller companies, rejected by the Big Name Publishers, to make it happen. David Reid of GameTap mentioned this in his PAX interview.

If GameTap does continue in this vein, it will (Gods Willing), bring back unique and innovative game designs. No more cookie cutter, barely different concepts and gameplay, because that's all the big publishers will pay for and produce. Smaller companies will be able to push boundaries, because there's a place for them.

Which brings me to the second item:

Uru pushes boundaries of what people expect a multiplayer online experience to be.

The first question Joe Gamer asks is "What is there besides PVP and collecting loot and leveling?"

Gamers have been conditioned to expect nothing else out of their MMO experience. Nothing. Check every single MMO out there right now, and they are ALL the same concept in different packaging. They are fun, enjoyed by the people who play them, visually stunning, but they all follow a basic framework.

Uru doesn't, and that confuses people. They can't wrap their brains around it. Is the world ready for an MMO where the story and interaction is the focus? It better be, because it's about to get it.

(feel free to link to this, or C&P it with my name)

thoughts from the VaxJedi

Often, he says things I was thinking, much better than I ever could:

... RWAs [right wing authoritarians] are angry with us because they've been told to mistake our tolerance and flexibility for moral unseriousness.
- From Orcinus, a liberal blog

This is really the key to a lot of things, including the perception of polyamory. What a lot of people see in polyamory (even many of those who take a 'hey, if it works for them, I guess that's okay' stance) is permissiveness. Too often, the argument that "people should be free to do these things" is not seen as a choice borne out of ethical behavior, but rather a laxity of moral character - "yeah sure that's okay - it's not a big deal." The same with non-traditional families, gay marriage, etc.

The point is that polyamory needs to be described as a choice that is rooted in ethical consideration. By and large, poly people are poly not because they can 'get away with it.' They are poly because they feel that this is the best choice - because they feel it's the right thing to do. That's the key. For poly people, being poly is, in their life, not a loophole, but a moral imperative. This imperative tells us that things like love, family, intimacy, connection, shared joy and shared resposnibility, these are the moral high ground, even when their form falls outside of societal norms and common definitions. I refer to the phrase "God is love" a lot - I find it an incredibly concise description of what I believe. And thus, I do not deny God when he comes knocking at my door - even if he is dressed funny.

This goes for larger liberal/progressive ideals - tolerance, flexibility, relativism are not ethical shortcuts. They are definitive moral stances. I think that even liberals forget that sometimes.

Best Quote About Homosexuality Ever

From Tom Smith:

"And the only difference between them and other people is, they prefer romantic and sexual partners of the same gender rather than the opposite."

That's it. That's the only difference. And yet that one tiny, insignificant thing has become an excuse for some to treat them like less than human. Like they're less worthy of having rights than others. How sad.

Buh

The world is...fucked up. And it has nothing to do with religion. It's not messed up because more people are X, or not enough people are Y, or people Z are creeps...

It's because we're forgotten how to treat other human beings with dignity and respect, no matter who they are.

ATTENTION US MILITARY PERSONNEL

Reposted with permission fron the Making Light blog. Clarification and comments are there.

ATTENTION US MILITARY PERSONNEL

You are not required to obey an unlawful order.

You are required to disobey an unlawful order.

You swore an oath to support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic.

The Constitution states (Article VI):

This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.

Here is article 3, the common article, to the Geneva Conventions, a duly ratified treaty made under the authority of the United States:

Article 3

In the case of armed conflict not of an international character occurring in the territory of one of the High Contracting Parties, each party to the conflict shall be bound to apply, as a minimum, the following provisions:

1. Persons taking no active part in the hostilities, including members of armed forces who have laid down their arms and those placed hors de combat by sickness, wounds, detention, or any other cause, shall in all circumstances be treated humanely, without any adverse distinction founded on race, colour, religion or faith, sex, birth or wealth, or any other similar criteria.

To this end the following acts are and shall remain prohibited at any time and in any place whatsoever with respect to the above-mentioned persons:

(a) Violence to life and person, in particular murder of all kinds, mutilation, cruel treatment and torture;

(b) Taking of hostages;

(c) Outrages upon personal dignity, in particular, humiliating and degrading treatment;

(d) The passing of sentences and the carrying out of executions without previous judgment pronounced by a regularly constituted court affording all the judicial guarantees which are recognized as indispensable by civilized peoples.

2. The wounded and sick shall be collected and cared for.

An impartial humanitarian body, such as the International Committee of the Red Cross, may offer its services to the Parties to the conflict.

The Parties to the conflict should further endeavour to bring into force, by means of special agreements, all or part of the other provisions of the present Convention.

The application of the preceding provisions shall not affect the legal status of the Parties to the conflict.

Article 3 of the Geneva Conventions is straightforward and clear. Under Article VI of the Constitution, it forms part of the supreme law of the land.

You personally will be held responsible for all of your actions, in all countries, at all times and places, for the rest of your life. “I was only following orders” is not a defense.

What all this is leading to:

If you are ordered to violate Article 3 of the Geneva Conventions, it is your duty to disobey that order. No “clarification,” whether passed by Congress or signed by the president, relieves you of that duty.

If you are ordered to violate Article 3 of the Geneva Conventions, this is what to do:

1. Request that your superior put the order in writing.

2. If your superior puts the order in writing, inform your superior that you intend to disobey that order.

3. Request trial by courtmartial.

You will almost certainly face disciplinary action, harassment of various kinds, loss of pay, loss of liberty, discomfort and indignity. America relies on you and your courage to face those challenges.

We, the people, need you to support and defend the Constitution. I am certain that your honor and patriotism are equal to the task.

Healthy People 2000 initiative from the CDC, Item 14.8: "Reduce the cesarean delivery rate to no more than 15 per 100 deliveries" (15%) (having failed to meet that goal in 2000, the Healthy People 2010 initiative merely says "reduce cesarean amoung low risk patients", but still sets a goal for first time mothers of 15%. However, it fids a repeat cesarean rate of 63% acceptable)

The World Health Organization states: "There is no justification to have a caesarean section rate of higher than10 - 15 %. Vaginal deliveries after a caesarean section shouldbe encouraged."

Babies Delivered by Cesarean More Likely to Die
Researchers at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention analyzed over 5.7 million live births and nearly 12,000 infant deaths over a four-year period.

Now, compare those to the 2005 Cesarean Rates for Seattle Hospitals

The Stuff of Chaos

Added a new link to the collection on the side:
Department of Swag for the Foundation for Neo-cognitive and Ontological Research and Development

Athiests' Good Works-Part 1

Quoted from a reply to my other blog:

From www.positiveatheism.com, in a conversation on the topic:
~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.positiveatheism.org/mail/eml9553.htm

Atheist Centre of India
The Atheist Centre was founded in 1940 by the Gora family, who were associated with Ghandi and the nationalist movement for freedom. They provide counseling, are fighting against the caste system and for the abolition of child marriages, helping ex-prostitutes, and protecting widows from inhumane customs. They also dispell superstitions by scientific demonstrations, and are asked to calm witchcraft hysterias. They provide sex education and family planning, are carrying on a rural development program, and have a center for free cornea grafting operations which is giving sight to the blind.
http://www.positiveatheism.org/tocindia.htm

Atheist Charity
This is a new, small charity run by atheist volunteers. They currently give money to other charities for the poor, are involved in forming a non-discriminatory alternative to the Boy Scouts, and later will start natural disaster relief projects.
http://www.atheistcharity.org

EARTHWARD, Inc.
Earth's Atheist Resistance To Holy Wars And Religious Devastation gives humanitarian aid to victims of religiously motivated violence.
http://earthward.net

Humanitas
Dutch organization for social care an community development, based upon humanistic principles with projects in the fields of child-care, elderly homes, support for the homeless, care for the disabled, visiting and empowering the lonely, and grief counseling.
http://www.humanitas.nl

Humanist Institute for Cooperation with Developing Countries
Hivos is an organisation working to promote: democracy; economic development; cultural development; human rights, including equal rights for women, in the developing countries of Africa, Asia, Latin-America and South-east Europe. It also combats poverty and the spread of AIDS in those areas.
http://www.hivos.nl/

Furthermore, humanist organizations such as the International Humanist and Ethical Union at
http://www.hivos.nl/
have been cooperating with the U.N. in promoting global human rights and social progress. Several people named Humanists of the Year by the AHA (American Humanist Association) at
http://www.humanist.net
have been leaders in the U.N. and/or helped draft human rights documents.

~~~~~~~~~~~
They raise the idea that there are few athiest charity organizations for the several reasons. A) Religious charities utilize their works as prolethetizing and recruitment/conversion opportunities, and thus are very vocal about them (And they are self-perpetuating for this reason.) B) The lack of belief in a diety does not bond individuals together in the same way that an organized religion does, etc.

Morality

rsjm brought up a sermon on 1st Corinthians, where Paul is telling the Corinthian church to behave.

Paul says, "Just because society thinks it's ok, doesn't mean God does". I accept that as a fundamental of Christian belief, and don't see any problem with a Christian chosing to live their life that way.

Paul says that God's rules are for God's people. That's a very Judaic way of thinking, too, and an area where Christianity changed from Judaism. Jews believe the rules in the Torah are for them, and they're the only people who should live by them, and too bad about those other folks.

Christianity, OTOH, expects *everyone* to live by their rules, and some are willing to impose those by force and law.

And that's where Christianity and I break. They (in the general theological sense) accept their morality as the only morality, and no one else is living a moral life but them. And, especially recently, power-holding Christans are willing to enfoce their morality through the law. This, in my mind, risks puts things on par with the thecracies of the Middle East, and other places where religion is state-enforced. Especially in America, no one religion should have the right to enforce its beliefs on the populace.

I think until Christianity as a whole begins to understand that people of other faiths can be moral beings, and that morality is much more about how we treat the people around us, and less about arbitrary rules, there will always be a cultural rift between Christians, and non-Christans.

PSA

Reguarding the use of 'public' information in order to defame or otherwise disparage me and mine:

I have said my piece. Blade has said his. If the perpetrator wishes to continue trying to justify his mudslinging, he'll need to come out of his safe little cave and engage in public debate, where everyone can see his behavior.

Please know that I bear no ill will towards other members of his family, or others who enjoy his company and his community, unless, like some, they have used the sheild of his power there to attack me directly.

pot, meet kettle

People would tell us that they were warned to stay away from us... And some did actually listen... The other people who came over here anyway were shunned after that... Or looked at strangely in the community. And all it took for that to happen was to come to a place and say hello to a few people...

Even on place that still took place... It sure felt nice having people who have never even met you claim how horrible you really are...

Gee, I'm sure I'd have no idea how *that* feels...to be condemned just for the people you hang out with, or be branded with a certain label because of unfounded rumor and overreaction. Or have people hate you without ever talking to you, because their 'leader' said to hate you.

gotta love to hear something like that out of the same group of people who've been running a hate campaign on you for almost 2 years.

Clothes make the...

Glitzy t-shirts with suggestive slogans. Hip hugger jeans. THONG panties, for ghus sake. And now padded bras in sizes that would fit my 6 year old?

You will hardly find another person on the planet more apt to wave the flag of sexual freedom and being able to wear clothes that make you feel sexy, and I've happily reclaimed slut as a title of pride. Sexuality should be enjoyed, not hidden from.

But 'slut' clothes for girls who have barely entered puberty is too much. For one, it's giving girls the wrong message about themselves, that they have to be sexually suggestive to be attractive. Two, it makes it damn hard to advocate for free sexual expression in adults, when that image is being marketed inapproprately.

How can we say it's OK for a woman to dress in a clevage-baring shirt, and that she still has rights and boundaries, when little girls who havn't even got actual breast tissue are being encouraged to show off their 'assets'.

They have no idea what message their clothing sends, they have no idea that these things can be interpreted sexually, they just see the glitz, and that it's what their favorite -fill in the blank- wears.

Today

I honor Liam Colhoun, and all of the innocents who have ever lost their lives because of someone else's religious or political fanatacism.

This comes from the blog of Cyantist Ryan Warzecha, an all around nifty guy:

Consider this a quest... no, a request... We have a great number of people signed up for the beta; however, I am a one of those types of people where there can never be enough. Call me crazy but I want a number that I spit out my morning coffee out when I see it. I want a number that when I say the number in the morning meeting that someone has to give Moke The Heimlich because he choked on his juice. I want a number that it gives Mark D night sweats worrying if the server will stay up. I think you get what I am getting at. This does not mean I want you to sign up with every email address you have. Some one might ask if Turner is going to base funding on the number of people in beta.That is not the case. I just want the numbers for my own personal vendetta to say "Hey World .. We are back... and guess what, this time its personal"

Completely seperate from the giggles I get at the thought of Moke snorting Orange Juice out his nose, everyone should sign up for beta :)

So, the recent weirdness in the Uru community has had the unusual effect of actually starting to heal some rifts rather than cause them. I'm all for that. I'm still not letting my guard down in certain quarters though. While I'm fine with hatchet burrying, I'm not to 'trust', by any strech. Especially when the assessment that people in my 'lifestyle' are selfish 'me-first' people, and that sort of additude is the cause of the community's problems is still pinned for all to see. Sugar-coat it and generalize it (after the fact) all they want, that was a direct accusation, and a direct insult.

The Mousie

I had a few people ask at Mysterium, so I thought I'd give the rundown here.

I have three kids, ages 16, 12 and 6.

The youngest is Mirriam, also known as Mousie, and she has a very rare (under 1000 known cases) genetic disorder called Smith-Magenis Syndrome. SMS is caused, primarily by a section of the 17th chromasome being missing, and in some kids, just the RAI1 gene missing.

SMS causes erratic behaviour, developmental delays, self injury behaviors and inverted melatonin levels, so they don't sleep well. Symptoms of SMS are often diagnosed as autism spectrum, OCD, ADHD or other behavioral psychiatric diagnosises. It takes a genetic test to find the SMS deletion, and as it becomes more widely known, more kids are being tested.

We were VERY lucking in that Dr. Magenis, the molecular geneticist who helped identify SMS worked at the childrens hospital that Mousie went to. Originally, Miri's SMS tests came out negative, because she's not missing anything on her 17th chromasome, but last fall two different facilities doing research on SMS confirmed that Miri's RAI1 gene is mutated.

She's a very cute kid, always on the go. She takes 24/7 care, so it's a challenge, especially without any respite or backup, but we squeek by.

Pics!

Here's a starter list of Mysterium 2006 photo pages!
Wolfie
Eleri
Ran
Fallstar
Taba & Vid
June
Moiety Jean
Thend
Deg
Lesha
Zadok
GoG
Rand
CCN
Saxy
Face in the Door
K'laamas

We are Mysterium of Borg, you will be linked

Wow. How do you compress 5 days of amazement down into a blog post? Everything was a blast, from the roadtrip, to the amusement park, to heek, to Cyan, to presentation, to talking to caching. I can't even begin.

Wolfie, it was damn good to meet you. Give em hell.
Marten, thanks for enduring me :)
Prof Askew, you are teh roxxor, baby!
Keshwyn, yay for universe shrinkage!
EricL, I love you, bro.
Deg, you are to nifty.
River, you have to SHARE Nicolas Cage, yah hear?
Saphira, thank you for saying hello. Lets keep that going.
Ocelot and Alahmnat, you guys are entirely too cute together.
Ireen, you are fantabulous, especially when wet!
Jean, it's a shpedoinkel day!

I miss you all already, only 363 days to go!

And so it begins...

Here I am at Mysterium, relaxing for a bit in our hotel room before venturing out into the mayhem. Drive over here was good, if long, and the decorated cars got a plethora of funny looks. Yay! Sat up all night talking Myst with people. How nice to be able to geek without eyes glazing over.
So good to see so many people, and Greydragon came by last night to tell us all about what had happened at the mornings Town Hall (squee!) It's going to be a good weekend.

Ayoheek at Mysterium!

Table Top Heek Tournament! Woo!

Echos of the Past

it might be well if you would ask yourself, are you better off than you were four years ago?...Is America as respected throughout the world as it was?

My answer to the first? Yes, and no. Yes, because we have more income and a home, but that has little to do with government economic policies. No, because we struggle with a child with disabilities on a daily basis, going deeper into debt for her care, completely unsupported by society in any way. No social services, no respite, no parent training, nothing.

Are we as respected? Hell no. Most of the world is starting to see America as the bully on the block, thowing its weight around if they don't dance to our tune, and a majority of Americans, in their ethnocentrism, don't care.

Oi

One again, the Guild of Drama Llamas is gunning for my head. I've long since passed being irritated or wounded by anything they say, their opinion matters not a whit to me. And anyone with enough brain cells to rub together can look at the reality, as compared to their cacophany, and form their own judgements as to my worth, so I have no fears that the tide of opinion will suddenly favor them.

Now, I just look at them and think how sad they are, to be so wrapped up in their hatered and delusions, that they focus on little else but taking me down. Down from where? That's what gets me...I'm just a random person in the community, and yet they seem hell-bent to discredit me. *shrug*

I often wonder how they came to the ELERI IS TEH SUXXOR EBIL platform, beyond my telling their leader what I thought of his manners and methods. Evidently disagreeing with the Guildmaster is enough to make me public enemy number one.

'gashi

Sinnish Proverb
lakashim oso barlen odudhiyu

Loosely translated:
God is too big for one religion

Yay Music

Nifty musician Michael Garfield is doing a pacific northwest tour in July, with dates in Spokane, Seattle, Vancouver, Portland and more. Goest thou, and listen. Is good stuff. If you talk to him, tell him a Zaadzster sent you :)

the war against the HPV vaccine

HPV, the human papillomavirus, is the leading cause of cervical cancer in women. You've probably seen the new ads on TV about it. It's highly contagious, and almost completely asymptomatic and unseen unless detected by a pap smear, or cance appears.

The FDA has just approved a vaccine to prevent HPV infection. This is a good thing, right? Evidently the members of the Extreme Religious Right think no. They say that by giving a vaccine against this cancer-causing virus, it'll encourage promiscuity.

That's right folks...the religious wackos maquerading as Christians in this country would rather allow women to risk getting cancer, than do anything that might seem to 'condone' sex.

HERE is a good essay on the subject

PHC is teh Love

You might not have always liked Republicans, but you could count on them to manage the bank. They might be lousy tippers, act snooty, talk through their noses, wear spats and splash mud on you as they race their Pierce-Arrows through the village, but you knew they could do the math. To see them produce a ninny and then follow him loyally into the swamp for five years is disconcerting, like seeing the Rolling Stones take up lite jazz. So here we are at an uneasy point in our history, mired in a costly war and getting nowhere, a supine Congress granting absolute power to a president who seems to get smaller and dimmer, and the best the Republicans can offer is San Franciscophobia? This is beyond pitiful. This is violently stupid.

The rest of Garrison Keillor's bit is HERE

The Three Sorrys

First you feel sorry
Second you say you're sorry
Third you do something to show you're sorry.

Birth rant #782

How did we come to the point that the 'right' way to give birth is on your back, surrounded by bright lights and people bundled up like you're a hazmat spill?

Buhwah?

Ubisoft ditched Live, but funds Orgasm Training Bunnies?!?

Extended discussion

I ask, in all seriousness: Do you really feel safer than you did Sept. 12, 2001? And, if you do, do you feel the cost has been worth it? Do you feel we, as a nation, are doing all right? Is this, the path we're on now, what America is all about?

Much ado...

I wonder if people would be as up in arms if they'd said "pre-diabetic" or "pre-cancerous". "Pre-pregnant" is a medical term, not a social commentary. *sigh*

Music!

That's right kiddos! It's Radio Free D'ni! Coming to you live from D'mala, it's the most eclectic, unexpected radio show ever to hit the underground. And we really mean underground!

Tune your winamp dials to the usual place http://callahans.seanmcpherson.com:10000/listen.pls starting at 5pm Pacific!

Harumph

My ambassadorial radar was twitching...

Sure enough, there's not even BLIP of news on MMORPG.com about the return of live. Not even a mention of the official press release.

This is offensive! An outrage! We need to head over there with pitchforks and blazing torc...eerrr.....

what I mean is, one of the top mmorpg sites really should have the news, we should politely email them and remind them of the fact.

$

Doing Faerie Oracle and Elemental Oracle readings for $15, to help cover Widget's emergency c-section vet bill. (Kitten pics are HERE) Drop me a message.

The mind boggles

The fight against birth control

This just makes me ill. It's one thing to debate abortion, but to argue against the ability for someone to not get pregnant in the first place? Grarrr.

D'ni Filk

From Julian Lapis:

The very model of a Cavern Representative

I am the very model of a Cavern Representative
Most consider me to be all knowing and articulative
I know the kings of D’ni and locations geographical
From Kerath’s Arch to Ae’gura in order typographical

I’ve travelled all the journeys and have studied Yeesha’s lifelong path
And turned the tables on a scary hammer wielding psychopath
I’m capable of solving every riddle D’ni ever had…
Whilst humming all of Ryan’s songs without going completely mad!

(Whilst humming all of Ryan’s songs without going completely mad,
Whilst humming all of Ryan’s songs without going completely mad,
Whilst humming all of Ryan’s songs without going completely-pletly mad!)

I can calibrate and activate the Zero single handedly
And trap a crazy father without getting shot repeatedly
The point is most consider me quite friendly and attentive
This is why I am the very model of a Cavern Representative!

(The point is most consider him quite friendly and attentive
This is why he’s the very model of a Cavern Representative!)

I know precisely what is meant by Shorah and Korfah V’ja
And have tumbled through a fissure made entirely of shiny stars
I did not fall for Sharper’s tricks or Esher’s random mutterings
But watch intently all of Lewin’s monetary flutterings

I’ve trawled a dying world to help a young lass return to her home
And battled wits with Bahro using nothing but a lump of stone
I’ve spun inside a marble, trying to hold on to my sanity…
Not mentioning my conflicts with a brother’s inhumanity!

(Not mentioning his conflicts with a brother’s inhumanity,
Not mentioning his conflicts with a brother’s inhumanity,
Not mentioning his conflicts with a brother’s inhumani-manity!)

In fact it could be said my D’ni knowledge is exemplary
Quite simply put, the very best of this modern century
The point is most consider me quite friendly and attentive
This is why I am the very model of a Cavern Representative!

(The point is most consider him quite friendly and attentive
This is why he is the very model of a Cavern Representative!)

Julian, you are the man.

The Deep City LIVES

It's a DAMN good day to be a Myst fan.

www.urulive.com

now where are my hankies??

Thought for the Day

What happens when we can love someone, and not feel posessive of them?

Computer Games as Fandom

One of my odd quirks is that I occasionally randomly write college-paper-like essays on topics that come to my brain... the most recent was the lack of respect that computer games get from the fen communities

Go to any science fiction/fantasy convention and you’ll see people dressed as their favorite characters, from Klingons to Browncoats, from PsiCops to Goa’uld. You’ll see characters from movies, television, comics, books, anime...but rarely will you see a computer game character.

Listen to panels, and its the same story, discussions about the latest film projects, the newest TV shows, so and so’s latest book in such and such universe. Wander down to gaming, and you might hear discussion of the hot MMORPG of the week, but almost never discussion of the story.

So what have computer games taken such a backseat to film, television and books as a medium for creative science fiction and fantasy storytelling? Partially because, up until recently, they haven’t been able to deliver.

One of the early forerunners was the best selling computer game of all time until The Sims came along. With five games, a publisher-thwarted online multiplayer spin off, three books, (with a 4th pending), a Disneyworld attraction that was doomed by lack of appropriate technology, it has a background to stand up to any in book or on screen. A developed language, an established history, a fully realized culture, elements of hard science and fantasy woven into the story, not as throw-away plot devices, and a basic premise that should make any fan drool; that books can transport you to other worlds. And yet, how many of you, until that last sentence, even knew I was talking about Cyan World’s Myst series? A universe that has everything that most fen want in a background, and it’s been overlooked for almost 15 years, except by a dedicated group of fans.

Since the first Myst game arrived, and the technology developed for games has skyrocketed, developers have had to stand up and take notice that they can’t just have mindless pixel shapes running around on a screen. Players want realistic characters, interaction, and history. They want motivation for what’s happening, and why they are doing what they do.

Some of the online multiplayer games are taking a stand in developing cultures for their different races, story backgrounds, and world histories.

City of Heroes (and its partner game, City of Villains), for example, has a complete timeline and history, with story elements that are slowly released as part of gameplay. Guild Wars (Which calls itself a “Competitive Online Role playing Game”) comes with a “Lore Book” that gives, well, lore about the game world, and players are given quests that help further the storyline.

In the world of single player games, story is becoming an important part of even the most dyed in the wool first person shooter. Halo (and Halo 2) follows in the footsteps of the science fiction greats by creating a fine mix of alien and human conflict on a strange world. The good balance of story characters and gameplay make it worth paying attention to as a work of creative fiction, even if the thought of a movie adaptation makes many fen cringe.

In essence, I find very little to separate a well-written, richly historied computer game from the well-written, richly historied mainstays of science fiction and fantasy fandom. I think we do the people who put their creative efforts into these works a disservice by so roundly rejecting them.

How then, do we change this perception of computer games as not worthy of fandom? Perhaps by encouraging more panels on computer game fandom, by offering genre-specific costuming prizes at conventions, by interviewing computer game writers and artists and bringing their talents to the spotlight.

Welcome to the Indranet

not strangling people

I know that people are coming from a point of compassion. I understand that they see us in ongoing distress, and they want that stress to go away.

However, the nagging about putting our child in a home, or 'in the system', is not helpful. Especially when weve stated, repeatedly, why that is not currently an option. "You can't afford not to" is not a empathetic or constructive statement, it is born of ignorance. Putting the family in tens of thousands of dollars of debt each month is not going to ease the stress level. Relying on an overtaxed, underfunded, dubious state system is not going to provide her with support and stability.

So stop. Just, stop. If that's all you have to say about the situation, just stop talking. Because you are not helping.

Ahh, politics

Evidently, publicly disagreeing with certain people in certain places makes you a happy target for their pattern of spreading malicious disinformation. Can you see me quaking in my boots?

I have no fear of these mayhemic mudslingers, because I know who I am, the people who's opinion I give a damn about know who I am, and everyone else can either be sucked in by lies, or not.

I am not playing this game here, there or anywhere else.

Hmmm

You have two items. Properly handled, both items are safe and effective for the jobs they do. They both have the potential for accidents, that can cause serious harm, up to and including fatalities. They can both, in the wrong hands, be used to deliberately cause harm, although one has been designed for that purpose, and one hasn't.

It would make sense, then, that both things should be carefully monitored, right? That people should have to prove the ability to use them safely, understand the rules surrounding them, and have their ownership and use of the items tracked, and have stiff penalties for misuse?

I gotta crow!

The major website project I've been working on has gotten off the ground, finally.

RespiteSearch.org

After years of wrestling with inadequate resources in finding respite care for our daughter, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

Why Real Lve Preacher is teh roxxor

I disagree. You do pick and choose in the Bible. You do because there is no other choice but to do so. I presume you do not advocate slavery as a valid way of having people work for you. And yet the New Testament encourages slaves not to rebel but to be obedient to their masters. I assume (I hope rightly) that you permit the women of your church to cut their hair. Paul forbade this clearly in First Corinthians.

If you worship on Sunday and carry out a normal Saturday for our culture, you are disregarding one of the Ten Commandments. At what point did you decide that commandment was less important than the others?

I could go on and on with this list. I could, for example, go into Leviticus and bring out a couple of doozies.

So you see, the Bible isn't the kind of book that will allow you to make wild claims like, "I used to pick and choose but now I don't."

It's just not possible to avoid picking and choosing, and I feel if you would examine the way you use scripture you will see that interpretation, prioritizing, and choosing are things we cannot avoid.

rlp in the responses to his essay on Slippery Slope Argument

Hear those War Drums?

My own views on the hotbutton of abortion aside, The idea of a state passing a law forbidding it even in cases of rape or incest strikes me as not the way to deal with the issue. So colour me irritated with South Dakota did just that.

However, in a brilliant show of native sovregnity, President Cecilia Fire Thunder, of the Ogala Sioux Tribe, has announce her intent to have a Planned Parenthood clinic opened on tribal lands, where it can provide reproductive health services, including, if needed, abortion, free of the state law.

http://www.indianz.com/News/2006/013061.asp

Healthy Parents =Healthy Kids

A new study found that treating depression in mothers, means their kids are less likely to be depressed.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/03/21/moms.and.depression.ap/index.html

Movie

So, V for Vendetta. Good movie, lots of preaching to the choir. The people who really should get the idea of recognizing extreme governement control aren't the people who'll be sitting in the theatre.

Just Not OK

If you are a pharmacist, your job, what you are licenced by your state to do, is dispense the medications that a DOCTOR has decided are the appropriate ones for THEIR patient. Your job is not to second guess the doctor, or pass judgement on the patient for the medications they are taking. AT THE MOST your job is to flag potential dangerous drug interactions, and contact the doctor.

If you have moral issues with handing out some of those drugs, you need a new job. Being a service-oriented pharmacist is not the place for you.

What comes next? Doctors being allowed to not treat obese patients, because they belive gluttony is a sin? Laws allowing waitstaff to refuse to serve somoene the steak they ordered, because the waitress is a vegitarian? Your morals allow you to make choices for YOURSELF. They do not give you the right to make choices for others.

New Uru Live Petition

Over 4000 people signed that first petition, but that list of names is 2 years old! Lets get a current and relevant headcount! The investors want numbers? Lets show them just how many people think Uru Live is worth having!

This call goes out to ALL Uru fans, not just UU users. And the call goes out to anyone who would value playing a mind-challenging, family friendly, non-violent online adventure game.

This time, we CAN make a difference!

http://www.petitiononline.com/uru2006/petition.html

(Feel free to copy the above text just as it is, to post elsewhere.)

So you want to be a writer...

why not home your skills doing pages for [Insert Title Here]

Making a Mockery

What's the difference between mockery, 'bashing', hate speech, teasing, bullying, etc? How is it that mocking something is ok, but bashing something isn't? Isn't 'bashing' just another form of mockery?

Sybilla Says:

I think it's a question of degree. Teasing is meant to either annoy or playfully mock the recipient. It can be either playful or mean, and sometimes gets taken to extremes, at which point it's no longer teasing, but abuse. Bashing, however, is aggressive and threatening, the verbal equivalent of getting severely beat up. In the middle is mocking, which, to me, is like heavy-handed teasing with malicious intent. Bullying is a means of intimidation and usually carries a threat or undercurrent of violence.

Wikipedia offers an in-depth look into bashing and its implications.

While writing this damn long comment, I consulted a dictionary, and this is what it told me:

Tease: "1. To annoy or pester; vex. 2. To make fun of; mock playfully."

Bash: "To engage in harsh, accusatory, threatening criticism." Also "to beat or assault severely."

Mock: "To treat with ridicule or contempt; deride."

Bully: "To treat in an overbearing or intimidating manner."

So yes, I think it's a matter of degree and intent. The difference between teasing and bashing is much like the difference between laughing at someone for the way she's dressed and punching her in the mouth because of it.

It seems that the question becomes, when a person or group is engaged in an activity that mocks or saterises another person or group-what is their intent and motivation, and will it be hurtful and truly harmful for the people being mocked, were they to experience it?

I think that the lions share of responsibility for determining if something is harmful is first, the recipient or subject of the mockery, followed by society as a whole. First for the subject, to stand up and say what's being done is hurtful, and should not be accepted, then for society to agree, and take steps to eliminate the mocking.

For example, take blackfaced performance. Up until the mid 20th century, blackface was considered and acceptable way to portray African-Americans. No one though twice about if it was offensive or harmful. Even some African-American performers wore blackface when portraying black characters. It took years before that form of mocking the apperance and stereyotyped personality of 'coons' was deemed unacceptable.

Obviously, offending someone with mockery or sature is unavoidable, because of the nature of satire, but when does mockery cross the line, and how do we determine that? Just saying "X deserves to be mocked" is unacceptable, because it runs perilously close to telling someone to just get a sense of humor, or you're 'just joking'.

Tell that to the Jews trying to eliminate the mockery of the 'moneylender', or the Pagans and the warty witch at Halloween, or the Christians trying to get out from under the shadow of Phelps and Robertson, and so on and so forth...

Speculative Preenactment. Like the SCA or Civil War players, only for the future. Not like a LARP, with stats and storyline and such.

This came out of a bit of discussion of Uru as an Alternate Reality Game, rather than a MMORPG. Blade actually participated in Majestic for a while, and I would count The Stone as a puzzle based ARG, because of its offline comunity aspects.

Chaucer Hath a Blog

My firste blogge poste

My lighte goost ful blisfully is went
Up to the holughnesse of the blogospere,
And now it is hooly in mine entente
To bitche about tonnes of triviale thinges here.
Gentile redere, pray keep my soule from helle
And comment on this poste: R O F L

Quote of the Day

From the VAXJedi:

Everytime a bunch of people take a stand against intolerance of various forms, and call people on intolerance, I hear someone say something like 'aren't you being intolerant of intolerant people?'. When I hear that, I just want to be intolerant of their right to breathe by wrapping my hands around their neck. It annoys me because it's just semantic gymnastics that simply isn't as clever as the person thinks it is.

New Beginnings, for all of us.

Can you do it? Can you walk through this door Cyan has given us, with open heart, open hand, and open mind? Can you start with a blank page, and begin anew?

Who gives a flying squee if such and such a group has a 'hood already? Who cares if so and so has made an avatar? Sure, we can go back to our own little corners and kvetch to ourselves, but are we humble enough to take what Cyan is offering, and make a fresh start of it? Can we let the wounds heal, or will we keep opening them? Can we put away the blame and judgement and rebuild, or, like the D'ni, will our pride keep us down?

What 'they' and 'them' are doing is unimportant. What matters is you. Me. Are we ready for d'mala, and D'mala? I sure the hell am ready to try.

*holds out hand*

Who's coming?

D'mala

How is D'mala that different from UU and the shards we already have?

Several big reasons, most of which can be found on the new UU FAQ:

17) Who are the people in Until Uru who are asking questions and doing surveys?
Employees of Cyan and our licensees will be periodically asking questions and collecting information. Thanks for your input.

19) Does this mean URU Live is coming back?
No, this is just a small step.

20) Will fan Ages be supported?
It is Cyan's goal to allow our fans to begin to write their own Ages. We hope to provide the tools and process in the future. But for now they are not supported.

Contrast this to the original UU FAQ, which made it very clear that we were never to expect new content, that Cyan wan't involved in UU at all, and UU was just something they were allowing.

Now, we have an offical "cannon" shard, where we can anticipate seeing DRC people, there's the potential of Cyan-created storyline, and officially sacntioned content. It fills in the gaps that UU had. And, there was a whole lot of "yet"s in Rand's letter.

I think many of the problems that plagued the community were a symptom of bored people trying to fill the no content void. With the potential of a changing story and enviroment, I think much of that will be eliminated.

And the until in UU is much more than just symbolic, now...

21) Will Until Uru be shut down if Uru Live comes back?
The name "Until Uru" says it all.

Uru: Ages Beyond Myst can be found very cheaply on Amazon. Uru: Complete Chronicles works too, and can be had just as cheaply. Working on getting the tutorial information for the needed dual install.

Conservative or Liberal?

People who self-identify as "conservatives" and have always been considered to be conservatives become liberal heathens the moment they dissent, even on the most non-ideological grounds, from a Bush decree. That’s because "conservatism" is now a term used to describe personal loyalty to the leader (just as "liberal" is used to describe disloyalty to that leader), and no longer refers to a set of beliefs about government.

More at the link.

Convoy!

The itinerary for the Great Mysterium Roadtrip 2006! is up

Quote of the Week

"There is a greater darkness than the one we fight. It is the darkness of the soul that has lost its way. The war we fight is not against powers or principalities, it is against chaos and despair. Greater than the death of the flesh is the death of hope, the death of dreams. Against this peril, we can never surrender. The future is all around us waiting in moments of transition to be born in moments of revelation. No one knows the shape of the future or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born in pain."

Well, that explains it!

Conversation with a seeekrit Cyantist:

Eleri: Where in the Cyan contract does it say "employees must enjoy the fine art of making the fans sweat." *chuckle*
Unnamed Cyantist: umm in the last paragraph .. Near the line that says we must make comments that seem vague
Eleri: is there a special training for that?
UC: more like watching others..
Eleri: "Enigmatics the RAWA Way", sorta like a spendy weekend seminar
UC: or Enigmatic for Dummies - a cheap book you can buy at Borders
Eleri: heehee

Everybody's a freakin moron

Free speech means you don't get shot and the government doesn't burn your book. It doesn't mean people will take anything you say with a smile. Free speech means people can think you're wrong, and get bloody pissed, and make blog posts from their armchair. Free speech means that the death squads don't come and shoot you for owning a copy of Thomas Payne, it doesn't mean that you can say anything you want without social repercussions. Free speech does not equal acceptance of your opinion as valid.

(more at the link)

Lonely in a crowd

On a good day we can attempt a family outing…on a bad day we stay home and fight over the last two Excedrin at the bottom of the bottle.

That's a quote from another SMS family, but it could just as easily be us. Trying to explain the ups and downs of SMS to 'normal' people often ends up like trying to describe blue to a blind man. Especially when it comes to behavior. Poeople have a hard time beliving that a child can be 'hard wired' to hurt themselves, or that they might really not understand cause and effect. I'm ready to print out little cards that say "No, my child isn't an undiciplined brat, she has a super-rare genetic mutation. Thank you for your compassion." Handing that to someone after they've made a snarky comment may be mean, but it makes me feel better when they eat crow.

Love

RSJM talks alot about how (if I interpret his words correctly) the core of true Christianity is trying to follow Jesus' exmaple of living a life of Love. And while he and I disagree on just what areas of loving one another are OK, the basic message is one I think would make the world a much nicer place if more of us loved. Not just romantic love, or sexual love, or parental/child love, but the idea that everything we do should come from a place of true loving compassion for each other and the space around us. When you talk to someone, when you interact with them, how are you giving them love in that moment? How are you letting your loving self show? Are your actions coming from a point of true compassion and caring, or some other emotion? How would those words and actions, if they were directed at you, impact you?

Autism Fundraiser

If you, or anyone you know, is into comic boocs, or robots, you might be interested in BOTS:

"Inspired by Nic's son Ben, PPS set out to create a project to promote autism awareness and raise money for the Autism Society of America. BOTS is a collection of artwork, donated by many of today's top comic artists. Contributors include Tim Sale, Randy Kintz, Sanford Greene, Lesean Thomas and Craig Rousseau. BOTS is currently in production and will debut at Mega Con in Orlando, FL, February 24th-26th. "

http://projectautism.blogspot.com/
http://www.portalproductionsstudio.4t.com/index.html

Aquila Memorial Auction

Upon the sugestion of several community members, we've put together an auction to help support Aquila's family. Please consider donating or bidding on an item.

Aquila Memorial Auction

Can't Stop The Signal

Firefly: Season 2

hmmm

I find that I'm full of a great deal of anger and pain today. Frustrated at a system that seems to be designed to let parents fail, frustrated at the people who suggest extremes, rather than support smaller actions that'll prevent larger problems.

One of the drawbacks to not being a member of an organised religion is the lack of a built-in support network. And it's not that the desire or the will to help isn't there in most pagan groups, it's that the needed infrastructure dosn't exist. Many churches have resources to draw upon when needed, from social support to financial assistance, and these are often supported by tithes and tax free donations.

I need to take some time today to collect myself.

Honor the Warriors, protest the war

"Talk show hosts like Hannity, O'Reilly and Limbaugh act like they know all about war; then they refuse to give any credence to soldiers like me who have been to war and seen the brutality of war. These guys are nothing but WEAK SPINELESS COWARDS hiding behind microphones while soldiers come home and are losing everything they have."
--Spc. Doug Barber, who took his own life Tuesday, after struggling with PTSD for two years

More backstory here at angry_biscuit's post on the subject.

Look into it yourself. How is the current administration 'supporting our troops' once they come home, unable to serve?

No More Abuse

From my friend John. He is wise.

"What right do you have to be happy?
"You're not good enough, you haven't done enough, and you haven't met my standards. You should feel sad, and anxious and dissatisfied, you should never relax and feel contentment or peace, until you've changed yourself to fit my mold."

Every day people hear those words, or words that mean the same thing. Every day people suffer in silence, wondering if they'll ever measure up. They struggle and carry on, but every time they improve, the standards get stricter, and the criticism harsher.

Does it make matters better if I tell you the abusers are suffering just as much? Or does that give away the punchline?

Shouldn't every victim be allowed to say "Stop! I'm not perfect, but I'm trying! Back off and let me be the best I can! Let me learn who I am, without being picked on and yelled at and scorned and mocked, and once I know who I am, then I can decide if I like it, or figure out what I want to change!"

Would not most victims agree that contempt, mockery, and unbridled criticism are among the worst ways to create positive change?

Ah, but the rules often change... when the victim is one's self.

"it's for your own good"
"the real world is hard, so I have to be hard"
"it's what you need"
"I just want you to live up to your potential"

So harsh and ugly when laid bare, when seen in retrospect, where the full extent of the damage done is visible.

And yet they're done to and by the self with impunity, dozens of times a day, by millions of people across the world... the only time when being a cruel abuser is considered acceptable... or even, sometimes, a virtue!

Crazy world we live in, isn't it?

dreaming

In all my time doing birth related stuff, I've found that one of the biggest challenges has been finding the space to do things. Most of the time we don't need space every day, or even every week, and finding someplace that is cost effective, comfortable, and available is sometimes beyond our ability.

My dream is to have a birth professional's co op, where people can use the space as needed, for teaching classes, or holding workshops, or meetings, or consults with clients. Someplace that parents can call and get hooked up with many different services, and birth pros can call for space, knowing it's going to be a calm, soothing birth-friendly space.

Someday, when I win the lottery ;) Or at least find enough like minded people to start a LLC.

eep

I sent off The Story to be critiqued at a writer's workshop, at the gentle nudging of the organizer, who also happens to be a published author and former Hugo nominee. He seems to think it's good, we'll see if anyone else does.

Also sent it off to a friend of Blade's for an editorial once over, since I know my ability to catch silly spelling and punctuation mistakes is pretty slim.

Resolution for 2006 is to actually submit it to publishers. Heck, I'll even start at the top and send it to Asimov's and F&SF, first. Heh. Maybe.

Great Mysterium Roadtrip 2006

I've started plotting and planning this. The basic idea is for a bunch of us to meet in one place, load people and things into cars, and drive a caravan across to Spokane.

Right now I'm looking at two different routes, from the two big PNW travel hubs, Seattle and Portland. I'm looking at distance, attractions and facilities on the way, and other interesting things along the way. Once I have those mapped out, I'll put up a poll to chose between them.

Some quickie FAQ:

1) This would be a full day trip. Straight driving from either Portland or Seattle runs about 4-5 hours. I dislike driving straight through, and it's impractical with a caravan, so we'd be making regular stops.

2) We'll stay together. If you're the kind of person who doesn't want to be held up by others, or drive only 70, this might not be the adventure for you.

3) There's Stuff to Do along the way, and I want to plan time in for those.

4) There will be some financial outlay. Some of that will depend on what we come up with as far as vehicles, gas, food. No one would be turned away for lack of funds, though! (I might just put them to work...)

5) You will be responsible for getting to the launch pad in Portland or Seattle. I highly reccomend the Amtrak Cascade train for any travel between Vancouver BC and Eugene OR.

Spawn of Eleri

time for some cute kid pics.
Tiffer:

(note the product placement. Usually his shirt says "Adobe" on it somewhere.)

Pookie:


Mousie:


They are 15, 12, and 5, respectively. Tiffer lives with my parents, and Pookie lives with her dad.

What's to do in UU

So here's my question, other than to hang out and chat about things, what else is going on that would entice me to travel back underground?

Well, while there is no new content or ages happening, people have gotten very creative in finding things to do while they're hanging out underground. There's often live music, games, events, celebrations (there was even an IC wedding once)

And, given the recent IC activity on the DRC site, everyones talking about the future.

Quote of the Day

Does Aslan make us draw parallels to Christ? Sure, especially the whole risen from the dead following the sacrifice, but then again he rips the Queen's face off, which is decidedly not turning the other cheek. It is, in fact, eating the cheek of another.

dotsahveht D'ni

We will be holding ORIENTATIONS, to introduce people to the dotsahveht D'ni concept, on three different shards:

Tapestry Shard Jan. 4th, 4pm pacific
L.A.S.T. Shard Jan. 5th, 5pm Pacific
Great Tree Shard Jan. 6th, 3pm Pacific
Taperstry Shard Jan. 7th, 11am Pacific

These orientations will take place by the Great Library of D'ni. Please come early if you need to make an avatar and collect your KI.

The hope is that people will attend the orientations, get an idea of what dotsahveht D'ni means, and how it works, and then carry that to their home shards and start dotsahveht D'ni there. Tapestry Shard will have a dotsahveht D'ni neighborhood, that will have regular gatherings on Mondays, and will be open to all for In Cavern conversation. With the recent activity on the DRC forums, and the return of IC there, now is the time to dust off our skills!

dotsahvet D'ni webpage

Hurrah!

My name is back up on the Birthing From Within mentor listing, and I should be getting my packet of level one materials soon. I've polished up my work webpage, and I'm all set. Bring on the pregnant women!

That sound you heard...

Was me screetching in shock/glee/hysteria.

There's STUFF happening on the DRC site. I swear my heart just stopped for a bit.

*falls into drooling fangirlness*
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

*ahem* well yes... back to your regularly scheduled decorum.

Unchecked Power

...The result is that the president's wartime powers, with its armies, battles, victories, and congressional declarations, now extend to the rhetorical "War on Terror": a war with no fronts, no boundaries, no opposing army, and -- most ominously -- no knowable "victory." Investigations, arrests and trials are not tools of war. But according to the Yoo memo, the president can define war however he chooses, and remain "at war" for as long as he chooses...

...Unchecked presidential power has nothing to do with how much you either love or hate George W. Bush. You have to imagine this power in the hands of the person you most don't want to see as president, whether it be Dick Cheney or Hillary Rodham Clinton, Michael Moore or Ann Coulter.

From Bruce Schneier's blog, discussing the security implications of the recent spying issue.

Bruce brings up a vital point. This is much less about Bush having this power, it's about any president, any leader, having this power. If we let something as funadmental as the Fourth Amendment get chipped away at, what else will start to happen? Things like THIS OHIO LAW, which "would let police arrest people in public places who will not give their names, address and birth dates, even if they are not doing anything wrong."

Can I see your papers Citizen? Really, if you've done nothing illegal, there's nothing to fear, it's all for your own good, you see, and National Security.

I believe Rev. Martin Niemöller's WWII verse is appropriate:

Als die Nazis die Kommunisten holten,
habe ich geschwiegen;
ich war ja kein Kommunist.

Als sie die Sozialdemokraten einsperrten,
habe ich geschwiegen;
ich war ja kein Sozialdemokrat.

Als sie die Gewerkschafter holten,
habe ich nicht protestiert;
ich war ja kein Gewerkschafter.

Als sie die Juden holten,
habe ich nicht protestiert;
ich war ja kein Jude.

Als sie mich holten,
gab es keinen mehr, der protestierte.
~~~~~
When they came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews,
I did not speak out;
I was not a Jew.

When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.

Side Effect of the War? Economy? Apathy?

Toys for Tots has just about run out of Toys. Dozens of nonprofit agencies in King and Pierce counties that rely on donated toys and gifts collected by U.S. Marine volunteers have been told there will fewer toys available for Christmas or none at all. The numbers define the problem: By this time in previous years, Marines had collected as many as 300,000 toys. This year, the number is barely 60,000!

This makes me very sad.

C is for COOKIE!

Today is Cookie Baking Frenzy Day!
My mostly-virgin oven (it's had a heat-and-eat meal in it) at the new house will be inaugerated with the baking of holiday goodies.
On tap are Orange Teacakes, Caramel Popcorn Balls, Soft Ginger Cookies and Gingerbread Men. Might try to squeeze some Maple Crescents in there, too.

And considering I need to make about umpteen dozen of each, we'll be busy long into the night.

Follow up to the snark

I am not offended when someone wishes me a "Merry Christmas", nor when someone says "God bless you" or offers me their prayers. I take it in the spirit in which it is offered, that someone wishes me well, and holds me in their good thoughts. How could I be offended by this? The more good wishes going around, the better. I mean the same thing when I tell someone "Blessed be."

What bugs me is that here you have a group, who's beliefs are plastered all over everything, who dominate the winter season from pretty much October to Jan, and they're crying "Help! Help! We're being oppressed!". Oppressed? Because other people have stood up and said "You know, it's not just you. Some of us have been celebrating winter holy days since before Jesus was a twinkle in his mother's virgin eye." You have got to be kidding me. It's not about excluding Christmas, it's about including the rest of us.

Morning Snark

I'll belive that Christianity is an oppressed religion, and that there's a "War on Christmas", when Jews, Muslims and Pagans get their major holidays off work without asking, and when the stores have just as many menorahs for sale in October as they do Christmas tree ornaments.

The only 'war' on here, is to force Christanity to admit they aren't the only game in town, and that they can't pretend the rest of us don't exist anymore. Heads up guys, Christmas was put in December, because the pagans and the heathens were already partying and celebrating.

Huffed and puffed and blew...

People are all up in arms about Washington's new smoking ban. "How dare they" the smokers cry "How dare they make us stand 25 feet from a doorway? It's arbitraty, it's unfair!"

Yup, it's a pretty arbitrary number. Perhaps I'd have more sympathy if I had met more smokers who actually gave a damn about the people around them. I can't even start to count the number of times I've had to go through a gauntlet of smoke, just to go inside a building, or how many times I've had smoke blown at me deliberately, just because. Or the cluster of smokers on a sidewalk who make you walk through them to get anywhere.

I'm all for the right for you to do what ever you want with your body. You want to fill your lungs with soot and tar, that's peachy keen with me. But the right for you to pollute your body ends where my body begins, and that includes my being able to breathe.

And while we're at it, lets extend that to people who wear too much perfume. If I can smell you from 5 feet away, you're stinky. You want your scent to lightly waft, not roil over the area like a Chernobyl fallout cloud.

More thinking

When I get to thinking theologistically (is that even a word?!? Cause if it's not, it should be, it's the logistics of theology) my brain starts going into overdrive.

I make no bones about the fact that I consider myself a pagan, that my chosen method of religious celebration is neo-pagan with Discordian tendancies, and that I see deities from many cultures are archtypal manifestations of a unknowable higher power.

One of my pet projects has been learning more about Jesus outside of the Christian doctrine. Many pagans are Jesusphobic. They have no problems revering Buddah as divine, or Zeus, or Morrigan, but the idea of Jesus as a divinity cheeses them off.

In many ways it's fall out from years of Christian Manifest Destiny. You have to admit that overall, Christianity has been less than allowing when it comes to other religions in their same space, and that a good chunk of their history involved stamping out people who didn't think like they do, sometimes violently. Plays Well With Others doesn't show up on Christianity's report card that often.

It also stems from the fact that most pagans are previous Christians, who left the religion because it didn't work for them. We're just now starting to see second-generation pagans (like my son). So for many pagans, seeing Jesus as deity, is like going back to the faith that, for many of them, was restrictive, opressive, judgemental and cruel.

So finding ways to find Jesus' core message, one that is relevant and relatelable for pagans, outside of the Paulistic and Reformative doctrine that grew millenia after the man preached, is a challenge, at best. One source of information is the discussion over Quelle (or 'source'), the 'Gospel of Q'.

While still controversial, the concepts presented by the possibility of Q are based in sound Biblical scholarship, that the Gospels, as presented in the modern Bible, are not contemporary to Jesus, and that they are most likely based on earlier descriptions of Jesus and his works. (Debates of how much of the Gospels are add-ons after the fact, to fill out Jesus' life story, and enhance his divinity, are left to more educated people than I.)

And now I've been babbling, and my brain has run out of steam for a bit. I'll get back to this after Mousie goes to school...

Thinking out loud again

This post over in Just Chance got me to thinking (uh oh, thought before caffine...)
There's an insinuation, especially in atheistic circles, that to belive in a higher power is to shut down portions of your brain. People with any sort of faith are sneered at, with a pitying look, as if they feel sorry for their primitive thought. And while I think that holds true for some people (arguably the people who weren't using much grey matter to begin with), it glosses over all the people with both intelligence and faith.

This doesn't mean I'm exempt from that judgement, at all. I know I've looked at other people and been contemptuous of beliefs that I thought were two steps removed from thinking that the sun is pulled through the sky on a chariot. But that's part of my journey, to learn to not sneer at things I don't belive in, even as I ask people to not sneer at me.

It reminds me of when I somehow got distracted by an episode of the 700 Club (*shudder*), where they were watching some Hindu festival that involved washing an the Ganges, and the conversation went something like:
"And here they're washing in the pollution filled river, which they think is holy and bathing in it will bring them good fortune."
"Oh, they really belive that, those poor people!"

My reaction (and this was when I was much further back on my journey of tolerance than I am now) was "Dude, you belive in a guy who's mom was impregnated by your deity, and then rose from the dead." I was offended by their 'look at the poor stupid primitives with their heathen beliefs', because I can't see any difference between beliving that a river is sacred, and beliving that someone died and rose again, or a goddess who's daughter is kidnapped to the underworld, or a trickster coyote bringing fire to humans, or a Flying Spaghetti Monster.

I belive, quite strongly, that all of these things can be little truths, within a larger Truth that is Divine. What matters is what it brings to the person who belives in it. It's a bit like the Christian idea of a very personal relationship with God and Jesus; that the doctrine is less important than how you connect with God. I think that whatever religion you follow, if you don't feel it as a connection to [Insert Deity Name(s) Here], then you might be looking in the wrong place.

The point of this, way back when I started typing, is that faith doesn't equal stupid, and you can have your beliefs (or lack thereof), but it's not a good idea to look down on other people, because when you come right down to it, it all sounds like something out of a good fantasy novel, and unless someone manages to get God to come down here and have an open dialogue with everyone, us humans won't ever really know which bits of the stories were Divinely authored.

Tis' the Season

Time for me to plug my favorite charity

From the FAQ:
Modest Needs is a charitable organization reaching out to the people that conventional philanthropy has forgotten: hard working individuals and families who suddenly find themselves faced with a small, unexpected expense that threatens their ability to remain self-sufficient - the unexpected car repair, the unanticipated visit to the doctor, the unusually large winter heating bill.

At Modest Needs, compassionate persons whose lives have been touched by kindness pass that kindness on to individuals and families struggling to remain self-sufficient despite a temporary financial setback. We do this because we've all been there, and we all believe that no hard-working person should ever be forced to choose, for example, between seeing a doctor and putting food on the table.

Modest Needs is proud to be the one and only licensed charity in North America serving otherwise self-sufficient individuals and families who find themselves in temporary financial distress. Our work has been featured on NBC's Today Show, CNN, CBS' Early Show, NPR's Morning Edition, in People Magazine, USA Today, and in countless other media outlets across the globe.

Religious tolerance means:
To extend religious freedom to people of all religions, even though you sincerely disagree with their beliefs and/or practices.

Religious freedom means that you can:
Believe, worship and witness as you wish;
Change your beliefs or religion; and
Join with others to express your beliefs.

Found this quote in an old LJ post.

If you don't, for any reason, find yourself able to respect me, have compassion for me, or believe in my essential goodness and worth as a person, get out of my life now.

I think that about sums it up. If you can't be that way towards someone, or at least treat them as if you feel that way, then you shouldn't be around them.

Ack.

Today I am wading through the wild world of Stock Options and capital gain taxes. I haven't quite figured out why I pay taxes when I buy the things, and again when I sell them. When did we become white collar enough to worry about things like stock options and capital gains?!? Tax time is gonna be bizzare this year.

ooich.

Ok, so it's been forever since I posted, and people were actually paying attention. Things have turned around enough in life that I'm not in so much of a funk, although it took a huge amount of work and bootstrapping. We bought a house, and are moving slowly, I'm going back to Mentoring childbirth classes after the first of the year, and Mirriam has a diagnosis. Of sorts. Technically it's unofficial, because we have to wait until the research paper is published, but it's been confirmed that she has a very rare version of Smith-Magenis Syndrome. She was tested for the classic SMS deletion over 2 years agon, and it came out negative, and for the microdeletion. But two different teams have found a mutation. Yay for cutting end genetic research, hmm?

So, hopefully, I'll remember to post more of my deep thoughts here.

Reevaluate, Reasses Rearrange

I'm doing a lot of REing in my life it seems. So far the process moves like molasses in Antartica, so I have no clue if any progress is being made.

I do however, realize I now have 3 weblogs/journal type thingies, not including the randomocity I toss up on Bird & Baby. Strangely enough, I can't find a good reason to kill any of them.

This one is my thoughtful blog. LJ is my day to day be myself blog, and the tezhme one is the keep the family informed blog.

In which Eleri's brain does a hard 180.

Growing up, I heard a constant message of 'almost-but-not-quite'. From school to theatre to home, every effort I made failed to meet peoples expectations. My best wasn't good enough.

I developed a very clear understanding of myself as a perpetual slacker/failure/second best. Every aspect of my life was goverened by the assumption that I needed to do *more*. This was reenforced in my adult life by my (ex) husbands treatment of me, the continuous setbacks to any life planning I tried to do, and the living arrangements for my kids.

With the arrival of Mirriam, and the reality of her disabilities, the increased strain on my life has only served to emphasise my idea of myself as incapable of functioning like a real adult. I woke up each morning convinced that no one else would be crying daily, no one else would be subsisting off of McDonalds and tv dinners. I was sure that there were parents out there who could do all the things Miri needed, and I was just to lazy.

So I'm finding it difficult to reconcile my self perception, with the one I hear on a daily basis now. From family, from friends, from general aquantances, to professionals, the general thread is that I'm "coping with things that would make a lesser mortal break". There is a part of my brain that says "No sh*t, idiot. 4 years with a disabled kid with minimal support, plus divorce and moving and new jobs and crisii galore? Heck yeah everyone else would go nuts."... but the majority of my head is convinced that somehow I should be able to juggle 24/7 care and housekeeping and secretarial duties, and family advocacy, and and and and... I've convinced myself that even Rosanne would be a better housekeeper, more stable mother, more loving wife, better girlfriend, than I am.

So the question now is, how to restructure my thinking of myself. Unfortunatly, at this point I am running on negative fuel, and my ability to function is severly impared. Hopefuly some urgent phonecalls in the right places will help. I want more than anything to avoid foster care placement for Miri, but my needs are critical, else I will be unable to care for her. Which, as you might guess, doesn't do anything to undermine my self image as Failure Parent.

There are parent support groups around, although I've been relucatnt to attend. One, because Miri remains undiagnosed, so finding the appropriate support group is problematic. Two, I am afraid of attending and having my failure image supported, by being surrounded by parents who *aren't* falling apart. Although I know this is unrealistic, it still shackles me.

Wisdom from someone else

From my friend BF:

You know how sometimes you kill a little time on LJ by reading your friend's LJs and clicking on the names of people who reply to them? No one you know, just that little tickle of curiousity? I did it tonight and now I'm...

I don't know what I am, exactly. Not mad, per se, but a little sad and a little righteous and all on a stranger's behalf.

There's this guy, and he's had a life that's a bit rough around the edges.He's no knight in shining armor, what I read of his LJ suggests the very idea would get you a snort of disbelief and a weary headshake.

He took a pretty heavy hit recently. He's coping. But then someone from his former life showed up and wanted to talk.

The friend had found God. And for one reason or another he thought this guy should be told to find God too. Okay, people get these ideas, I can deal.

But then he told this guy that the reason he'd lost what he'd lost was because he didn't know God, that God was going to keep taking good things and good people away from him until he came to God.

And I sat there and stared at the screen for a minute and I said, " God is not a shake down artist." I said it pretty loudly, which confused the dog and then I said some bad words.

I don't care if you are a follower of Jesus or G-d or Zeus the Thunderer. But I'm saying right now that if your God is the kind of penny ante knee breaker who takes joy from people to make them do what He/She/It wants, then, damn, but your God is too small. That's a God of Thuggery. That's a God who runs a three card monte, a God who does business off the back of a truck somewhere. That's a small idea of God, a God crammed in a box limited by the mind of the one doing the cramming. That's an idea of God that doesn't tell me much about God, but tells me a whole lot about the person who holds the idea. For starters it makes me wonder if maybe he found this God-idea in a mirror.

The problem with a God-idea like that is it can keep people from trying to find their own idea of God. Because, you know, if they get told God is the kind of Person who takes joy and love away, why would any one in their right mind go looking for Him? Or Her, for that matter. There's enough pain in the world, I don't need to go around bringing myself to the attention of God, if that's what God is.

I don't think that's what God is. I only have a finite and fallible human mind, so I don't even pretend I can grasp or understand all of God. But the pieces of God I can understand don't take joy away. They don't make me feel worthless or bad or unloved. And they sure as hell don't pull this kind of skulking "Mighty nice life you got there, too bad if something happened to it" protection racket.

If I were God I'd be pretty unhappy with people who talked that way about me. I know God is a better Person than I am, though, because I hear that kind of crap all the time and there's never a big old zot of lightening and a smoking crater where the talkers used to be.

Response from JP:

Of course it will force a person to adopt a religion. I mean, *everyone* really knows that God exists, so they know d**n well that bad things will keep happening if they don't turn to God, who, in His infinite mercy and love, will torture them for all eternity if they don't decide they love the Master who keeps kicking His favorite dogs all day...

The 'best' part about this, thinking that God causes all this suffering, is it lets you completely ignore the message Jesus brought... why work to help the "unrighteous"? I mean, sure, Jesus said to love each other, to take care of the poor, the sick, and otherwise disadvantaged... but *obviously* he didn't mean to do so if it was *their* fault, for not believing in God, right?

So convert them first, and if they don't want to convert to your religion of deep love and compassion, f**k 'em.

Ahem. Pardon the language. I feel a bit strongly about this.

Many of those people reject one of C. S. Lewis' big laws about logic and theology: "Nonsense does not cease to be nonsense simply because it's about the divine".

This, in a nutshell, is why I'm not one of the Big Three religions. I refuse to believe that God is an abusive parent, who can treat you badly just to 'test' how much you love Him, make your life miserable on a whim, or to prove a point, or you may have done something to displease Him, even if you have no clue what it was. I refuse to believe that God's whole purpose in the universe is to *make people like him* and get them to *do what he says*, all on the promise of an 'eternal reward' that we have to trust we're going to get.

Percolating like thick coffee

Many thoughts in my brain, some deep some shallow. Having the worst time getting any of it into coherant form.

Feeling very lonely today, even though I know my beloved will be here until Sunday.

A few small edits to make to my story. What do you *do* when a Hugo nominee says "this is damn good, go forth and get it published!"? Friend or not, he knows from writing, and his praise really made me re-evaluate my thought of myself as a cruddy writer.

I mean, I tossed that thing out in a few hours, it *can't* ge good, right? When did I get myself into this rut of thinking nothing I did was worthy of anything?

Deadlines

Well, this is it. The last week to get the apartment packed up. Tomorrow I get to Hunt Down Boxes. The Mousie is increasingly stressed and volatile, which makes for a stressed an volitile mommy. Poor buglet really doesn't understand what's happenening. And I haven't heard *anything* for DDS up in Seattle yet. *fret*.

I'm... ambivilant about Seattle. It's not at all a comfortable city like Portland is. Adobe, however, kicketh much ass, and I was all geeky fangirl at being shown around. Emphasised the regret of never having finished my Graphic Design degree. That's probably why I've been kicking out so much in my deviantart account. Blade brought me the Illustrator and Photopshop CIBs to work with. Maybe eventually I'll consider taking the Adobe Certified Expert tests.

Fortuitous Postings

Because timing is everything, this essay on Christian Fundamentalism & Politics came across my desktop. And before you protest that it's just another non-Christian spouting things he doesn't understand, let me reassure you that this is a scholarly, well thought out, thought provoking work. Thoughs should be provoked on a regular basis, angry bees, not so much.

Christians in the Hands of an Angry God
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Conclusion


I offer these up for friendly perusal. Unfortunately I'm going to be focused on packing (gah Seattle move)for a while, so I'll not be able to dive into any really deep discussion. Feel free to carry on on your own.

A Perfect God

(from a conversation with rsjm)
There's probably no way to express my thoughts on sin without offending, so I'm sorry in advance.

A perfect god doesn't need sin. Nor does god need worship or sacrifice or dietary laws any of those other things humans do to try and show god (and themselves) that they believe.

What most people think of as sins, are either just rules made by priests and leaders as ways to keep the population in line, making them think the way the people in power want them to, or rules we make for ourselves so we feel we're in step with 'God's Will'. Even the Ten Commandments boil down to the concept "play nice". It's a simple truth. Play nice.

Why would a perfect god care if you wear your hair long, or eat meat on Friday or not, or if you've ever been married before? Why would god care about my sex life? These things are so far beneath god. A perfect god takes us one on one, yet sees us as part of the whole. A perfect god has no need to judge or punish, because those things are human concepts. A perfect god sees and measures us in ways we can't possibly imagine. And a perfect god can reach into us, reguardless of what we believe.

I think what we, as humans, can do, is find that spark of the perfect god inside of us. Each of us will find it in different ways. R's found it in Christianity, and it's good for him. Even an internet bystander like me can see that joy and strength it brings to his life. He's reached the spark. And there are places you can go, churches, mosques, forest shrines, rivers, where you can feel the tangible warmth of that spark, even if it's not a place of faith for you.

I feel it is wrongwrongwrong to follow a religious path that brings you no joy, and doesn't cause that upwelling of spirit. If following your path's steps doesn't make you feel closer to god, on a personal level, then you need to re-examine your path.

Father Greeley talks about it in his books (from a Catholic perspective) as a "passionate love affair with God". If you're not feeling that, you've not found god.

When I touch that spark it is the most powerful, amazing, all encompassing sence of warmth, peace and perfection you can possibly imagine. My heart and soul knows I've touched eternity. I know, and I believe with my whole being in that spark, I'm just still learning how I want to express my connection to that spark in an outward way.